Needlepoint Hot Air Balloons wear alarming stockings
“May next year best the best 2019 ever!”
If you read the letter in 2019, note that the quote above was written in 2018.
This year we didn’t have a Martin Family Christmas Day — we had a Martin Family Christmas Season. Darius, Christiane and (the lovely) Leandra flew in from Washington State, Mitra came up from Los Angeles and even Stefan who normally spends the holiday in Joshua Tree National Park, was in Santa Barbara for the holiday. We decorated — eh, Nazy decorated the house..
“… but I found the Christmas stuff in garage,” I thought, aware that it might have been easier if I hadn’t found so much. We had more decorations that we had tree. We had more decorations that we had city… or state. As all the storage was consolidated in the garage, I found Christmas decorations from Zurich, The Hague and Hanover, New Hampshire. We had nutcrackers, candles and nativity sets (including Nazy’s super bargain one that was missing baby Jesus). We had indoor lights, outdoor lights, laser lights, 110V lights, LED lights, 220V lights, bubble lights and candle lights. We found all of Nazy’s needlepoint stockings — noting that the family was growing so fast that Nazy’s is having trouble keeping up. And..
“… I can help,” I noted, while Nazy was needling away. “I’ll just order a couple of personalized stockings to tide us over this year.” I said. “And the next decade or two,” I thought, aware that more grandchildren were on the way.
“Get good ones, Dan. With the toe pointing to the left.”
“Of course, my dear. I know what I’m doing.”
I bought the three red stockings on the left side: Nazy did not approve. Ten years ago, I bought the one at the bottom right — the one pointing the wrong way. That one, machine needle pointed, has Nazy’s full Persian name. She doesn’t like it. That’s why I don’t needlepoint. Naturally, we collected everyone for the traditional family photo. We even got Tiger, notoriously uncooperative about photos, to work with us. We went ‘tripod-less’ and, instead of taking 50 or more pictures, we took three… with a carefully balanced iPhone.
The Martin Families 
In the back (left to right): Nazy Mitra, Stefan, Christiane, Darius, Melika, Tom (with Monster) and Dan. On table: Leandra, Tiger, Arrow and Azelle.
For Christmas, Melika and Tom treated the family to a Hot Air Balloon adventure. So, we drove to Los Olivos early on Christmas Eve. Nazy and Christiane (pregnant) stayed in Los Olivos with the very young children (the lovely) Leandra and (the amazing) Azelle. Everyone else jumped into a van that scouted for a suitable takeoff spot. In order to judge the winds, the pilot released helium balloons at a variety of locations.
“There’s a storm coming,” he explained. “30 mph winds up there at 3000 feet.”
“Hmm,” I replied after gravely considering the information.
“I need to see that white helium balloon for 10 minutes to make sure it’s safe.”
“Safe?” Mitra and Darius thought.
“How long have you been a balloon pilot?” Tom asked.
“He told me it was his maiden voyage,” Tom’s Dad interrupted.
“No, no, no!” The pilot replied. “The maiden voyage was yesterday.”
Note: In fact, the pilot knew exactly what he was doing. He had been ballooning for decades and had carried more than 70,000 people. He had flown over Kilimanjaro and knew the central valley of California like the back of his hand. The winds died down, they unfurled the balloon and we got ready to depart.
Tiger and Arrow were a bit wary of the (very) loud noise of the burners. Melika was also nervous about the boys — I held Arrow and Tom held Tiger. The ride was smooth..
“ … because we are going with the wind,” the pilot said. “In an airplane, turbulence occurs when you go against the wind.”
“So how do you know where you’re going to go?” I thought.
“We navigate by changing altitude since the winds at different altitudes go in different directions.” The pilot continued.
As predicted, we took off smoothly and flew over the countryside — aborting a landing at the last minute because the field looked freshly planted. It was a great trip. Later, I asked Mitra about the experience..
“I was terrified at first, Dad.”
“Really?” I replied. “I thought it was ..”
“Aren’t you afraid of heights, Dad?”
“It wasn’t a problem. What bothered you?”
“We were very high and going so fast,” Mitra replied.
“Hmm. I thought we were very low and going so slow.”
We finished the trip with the traditional glass of champagne before meeting Nazy, Christiane and the babies in Los Olivos for brunch. It was a beautiful Christmas Eve.
Back at our home with Darius, Christiane and (the lovely) Leandra, a sensor or battery failure continued to bedevil us. Every so often, usually at night, a ‘beep’ would, well, it would interrupt our sleep. Determined to eliminate the offending noise and, eh, ‘encouraged’ by Nazy, I worked to locate and defuse the defective alarm. It was ..
“… not easy, Nazy,” I explained. “The beep is random and I have a defective ear.”
“Dan, Dan, Dan!” Nazy replied, somewhat exasperated — but, in the end, she was also unable to locate the defective device.
We consulted with Alex, our handyman. Claiming that all of the alarms were wired together, he recommended an electrician.
Taking matters into my own hands, I removed the batteries from every single alarm — smoke detector, carbon monoxide detector and even the trump supporter identification device (which has a very loud siren). It was to no avail. And then..
… the guilty alarm mistakenly went off while Nazy was in the laundry room. She discovered it cowering in a hidden alcove. Somehow I controlled my destructive urges and settled for battery removal. Peace reigned.
Christmas Day featured lots of presents — both at Melika and Tom’s house on Nirvana Rd and at our home on Fellowship. The day also featured lots of excited children and ‘helpful’ children: “It’s my turn, but I will help Azelle unwrap her present.” More on this and Wicked next week.
For last week's letter, please click here
Tom, Melika and The Boys (Tom dressed for Ballooning)