WHY THE REST OF THE COUNTRY HATES CALIFORNIA

California is, of course, also marked by

“... a meditation experience like no other,” Darius explained. “I’m going to LA to join a class with Mitra and Stefan.”

“An experience, eh?” I replied.

“A class, Dad. With a genius.”

“I’m the genius, Dar. This guy must be a guru.”

“Right - a guru. He’s from the Mayan civilization.”

“So, you need a guru to learn how to, eh, rest quietly and think good thoughts?”

“You don’t understand anything, Dad.”

“At last we agree,” I thought. “I may not understand, but I support the idea completely, Dar.” I replied. “Meditate aggressively.”

“Meditate aggressively? How do you do..”

“I want your team to win.”

“Win? You don’t win in meditation..”

“Kick ass. Show no mercy.”

“You don’t understand.”

“We’ve already established that, Dar. I want you to do the family proud.”

“Dad..”

“You’ve said that before, son.”

“Shall your Mom and I come to Los Angeles so we can cheer lead?”

Cheerleading aside, it’s been an eventful week. The repair person was sympathetic:

“You need a new keyboard.” He told Darius.

“All I did was..” Darius began.

“When you’re eating while using the PC, carrot sticks are better than carrot soup.”

Luckily, I had an external keyboard that Darius could use while the replacement was being shipped.

“Why did you get an external keyboard?” Darius asked.

“That’s right, Darius,” Nazy interrupted. “Ask Dad about his keyboard and his glass of ice-tea.”

“Hrumph!” I replied. “Ask your Mom about her keyboard and her cup of hot tea.”

“Mom?” Darius began..

FLASHBACK: Memphis Tennessee, Clark Tower

I was managing the “Research Computer Center” for the ContiCommodity subsidiary of The Continental Grain Company. The CIO of Continental Grain was visiting - for the first time. Naturally, I was cautious.

“Who authorized this data center?” Bob Taylor asked.

“I think that you did,” I replied. Hopefully. [In fact, having gone to considerable lengths to make sure that Bob didn’t know we existed, I was disappointed that he had discovered us and I was apoplectic that he was visiting in person.]

“I wasn’t aware that you had budget.”

“There are a lot of things that you aren’t aware of,” I thought. “That’s why I’m happy that your office is in New York.” I led Bob into the computer room.

“Do you permit liquids in the computer room?” Bob asked seeing me caring a glass of coca cola.

“Well, Bob,” I replied. “We are adults.”

At that point, a minor earthquake (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) caused me to drop the paper cup full of coca cola. The cup accelerated toward the floor. When the contents made contact with the raised flooring, fizzy and bubbly cola rose high into the air. The cup stayed on the floor where it wobbled. The liquid cola fell directly back into the cup - stabilizing the wobble. Nary a drop escaped.

“We are also lucky adults, Bob.” I noted. “Janet,” I called, “will you please carefully carry this coke into my office?”

End FLASHBACK

“Well, Darius,” I said. “I think that spilling things runs in our family. You should have asked for the ‘good luck’ gene at conception.

Darius was particularly in need of his computer because he’s finishing up a technical paper.

“You’re wrong, Dad.” He explained. “Medical care isn’t the only thing that’s too expensive in the USA, there..”

“The US medical system is, by any objective measure, an over-priced concoction that delivers, at best, mediocre service.” I pontificated.

“Of course, Dad. But that’s because the system is corrupt. The higher education cartel is even worse. The USA is the only country in the world where college students graduate with massive debt.”

“Not just the students, Dar, the parents too.”

“Don’t interrupt me, Dad. I’m on a roll. The only way to discharge the debt is to die.”

“There is an alternative, Darius.”

“No.”

“You could pay it off.”

“I’m a macroeconomist, Dad. I understand debt - especially government debt. Paying it off is not in the realm of possibility. And it doesn’t matter anyway, the entire system is corrupt.”

Darius’ time in Lebanon has taught him to recognize corruption when he see it.