Bully Angelfish trapped at an Event Horizon in Lebanon

I hope you are happy and healthy. The clock is ticking down on 2011 and here in Zürich, we’re looking forward to our annual family get-together. But first, a review of feedback from last week’s episode and a few vignettes from Thanksgiving in Washington.

The US Airways/Air Canada debacle: All reader comments conveyed shock about the US Air booking. It was, I admit, a cosmic blunder: cancellations, lost luggage and extra fees were totally predictable. Sample feedback:

  • “I always avoid US Air.”

  • “You, Dan, selected US Air? Why?”

  • “You get what you pay for.”

Levis

Shopping: In comparison with Switzerland, prices in the USA are astonishingly low. (In comparison with Switzerland, prices in a commercial airplane factory are astonishingly low.) The official Dan Martin comparative price model uses the Coca Cola retail price: at Costco in the USA 32 cans of Coke Zero sold for $6.99 (22¢ per can). In Zürich, each can costs about 60 Rappen (66¢Winking. I admit that purchases in Zurich can occur in single can quantities; this is not possible at Coscto.[BTW: The coke pricing model’s validity has been proven in remote and exotic locations like Bratislava.] Levi’s®, another universally recognized product, is also a good benchmark. A USA department store sold 501® Originals for $37.99. Similar items, but ‘seconds’, at the Mendriso Outlet in Switzerland cost twice as much. First quality at local stores would be about $175.

Just because it’s cheaper doesn’t mean that it has to be bought. But there were lots of sales and discounts attract shoppers like a black hole attracts matter. A 50% discount, for example, has an event horizon of about 30 feet: a shopper straying within 30 feet, will be unable to escape without making a purchase. Larger discounts generate more expansive horizons.

“I know it’s 75% off, Nazy,” I cautioned. “But we don’t need any anvils.”

I found myself tempted by sales and by Apple-induced technology envy. My MacBook Pro, iPad and iPhone are all performing well, but I covet a new laptop with a solid-state disk, a more modern iPad and a talking iPhone.

“But you never felt excited about getting a new
HP laptop,” Nazy noted.

“The company didn’t let employees use the coolest laptops,” I replied.

HP made ‘cool’ laptops?”

“Perhaps we understand why they had problems in the consumer market,” I replied.

We were shopping at the Tyson’s Corner Mall before Shahrzad’s Thanksgiving dinner party. Nazy wanted to have her hair washed and blow-dryed. I had to have my say.
coke dan shirt

“Is this necessary, Nazy?” I asked.

“The shop has a holiday sale - 25% off.”

“I can’t conceive of any circumstance whereby paying somebody to shampoo and dry my hair would be a worthwhile expenditure,” I said steering Nazy away from event horizon.

“What do you know about hair?” Nazy replied,turning to the attack.

“Excuse me!” I blustered.

“instead of a shampoo and blow dry, you’ll need a polish and shine.”

Low blow!” I thought. “Enjoy your visit to the hair salon,” I said.

Many readers have asked about the status of my aquarium. As you may recall, Kate and William, marble angelfish, reign supreme in the aquatic masterpiece. The sludge-creating filtration failure during our trip to Slovakia is a distant memory. No fish expired during our Thanksgiving expedition. But, as I explained to Nazy:

“They didn’t like the ‘vacation food’, so they ate the plants.”

“I told you to get plastic plants, Dan.”

“Have you noticed that Kate has grown?” I asked.

“Really?”

“She is much larger than William.”

“Is she pregnant? And where is William?”

“She’s not pregnant, but she is a bully. William is hiding behind the filter.”

“He’s henpecked?”

“Maybe. But I think he’s just a wimp.”

Here, recent events in the €uro-zone have raised concerns about prospects for the European economy. The problem,
PIIGS in the periphery (Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece, Spain) used implementation of the Euro to borrow money (i.e. sell bonds) that they shouldn’t have borrowed. Banks in prosperous core countries extended loans (i.e. bought bonds) when they shouldn’t have. A solution will require establishment of something like a United States of Europe - a step that is not going to be easy. First there will be an attempt to make the continent’s more German: rules will mandate austerity in the profligate periphery. it’s not clear that austerity can turn recession into expansion; where it has been tried, it hasn’t worked except to enrage the populace. I expect that the urgent meetings will define a “solution” that placates the markets until someone says: “But he’s not wearing any clothes.” And then? The crisis will resume. It is a conundrum. But, as Darius pointed out, it’s not as complicated as the situation in Lebanon.

“... a southern Lebanese militia stole a 300 Megawatt transformer from the Beirut area and they’re defending it with machine guns and bazookas.”

“Sounds like Nigeria. When I was there...:

“And the electricity in Beirut only works 12 hours a day.”

“Reminds me of my visit to Manila in the early 80’s..”

“Dad! You never lived in Manila or Nigeria. I live in Beirut.”

“You’re in South Africa now.”

“My permanent residence is Beirut. Did you know that the UN threatened to cut all subsides to Lebanon?”

“Subsides?”

“UN money keeps the country afloat. They want Lebanon to pay $35M for the study that identified Hezbollah as responsible for killing a previous Lebanese President.”

“That make sense. Isn’t the government happy to know who did it?”

“No. Hezbollah is now part of the government - a government that will collapse if they withdraw support. Then everything could spiral out of control.”

“So what are they going to do?”

“The President of Lebanon is a billionaire. He wrote a personal check for the $35M.”

“That’s one way of handling the situation. But it won’t work in Europe.”

“Why not? No billionaires?”

“Europe needs trillionaires.”

And, finally, we’re getting ready for The Martin Family Holiday Soirée. Mitra and Darius have already gotten tickets to Zurich and Melika’s acquisition is in progress. A gargantuan tree has been installed, lighted and decorated at
Casa Carmen. Now we just need snow.

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