Valentine’s Day steering wheel stroller and El Nino miscue
It was a tumultuous El Nino week in Santa Barbara. By ‘tumultuous’, I mean the local TV news broadcast a prearranged ballooning portfolio of Catastrophe reports accompanied by dirge-like piano music. They showed mudslide videos (from 2006), flood videos (from 1997) and ocean wave damage videos (from 2013). They didn’t show anything recent..
“Because, Nazy,” I explained, “this El Nino has been a bust.”
“I thought our rainfall was above average,” Nazy replied.
“Above average for January. However, we are still well below average for the rainy season. It began in October.”
“But..”
“That’s because we got no rain in October, November or December.”
“The rainy season goes until April.”
“We’re half-way through February and we’ve had no rain at all this month, my dear. In fact, it’s been ‘summer-hot’ for the last few weeks.”
“I saw,” Nazy concurred, “that we broke a high temperature record that was set in 1907.- more than 100 years ago.”
“And then we broke an1886 record set two centuries ago. I’d say it’s global warming, but..”
“But?”
“It was -10℉ (-23℃) in Boston today. That broke low temperature records set in 1934. Global cooling?”
Given that the forecasters inaccurately ‘predicted’ the impact of a highly studied, regular El Nino event, I’ve developed skepticism about global warming. And, because people like to hear about crisis, the news stations are now touting a series of reports on
“… La Nina 2017,” I explained. “They say we’ll have drought conditions next year.”
“What a surprise!” Nazy replied. “How do they come up with this stuff?”
“Computer models,” I explained.
“But didn’t a computer model predict heavy rain from El Nino?” Nazy asked reasonably.
“Yes. And a computer model predicted that mortgage derivatives were AAA investments.” ”So why does…”
“And a computer model predicted rain last week.”
“It didn’t rain last week.”
“My point. My dear.”
Last week I described the ball I had discussing the cat and the piano with my doctor who wanted to test my memory In revenge, he sent me to get an echocardiogram…
“Because?” I asked.
“Because at your age it is a good idea.” He replied.
I stopped by for the procedure this week. Although everything went well, I have to say that the cardiology building is highly uninviting. There was a line of about 50 people — with walkers, oxygen tanks, wheelchairs and canes. They all looked much, much older than me.
“I need to disguise my arrival,” I thought. “I don’t want my friends to think that I belong here.”
Accordingly, I ran up the stairs to the third floor.
“Huffing already?” the technician asked as I casually strolled into the office.
As I expected, there was nothing untoward discovered in the exam.
On the grandson front, I regret to acknowledge that, at 19 months, he is in the awkward stage: too heavy to carry, too stubborn to ride in his stroller (he wants to push it rather than sit it) and too curious to ‘hold hands’ when something exciting is happening elsewhere. Thus, as you can imagine, there were some misgivings when Nazy and I decided to take him to the zoo.
“The last time we did this, Nazy,” I began, “he only wanted to climb the stairs from the meerkats to the ant hill.”
“Dan..”
“And the anthill wasn't even a zoo exhibit; it was just an ‘ad hoc’ engineering project of some local fauna.”
“Dan..”
“He’s going to wonder all over the place.” I continued. “When I want to see the elephants,” I thought.
“Dan!” Nazy persisted. “I have a plan.”
“Great!” I replied. “Plan?” I thought. “Hilary has a plan. Even Trump has a plan. Just having a plan doesn’t mean you have a solution.”
“There are special strollers at the zoo, Dan. Strollers with steering wheels. He loves cars and he will ride in one of those strollers.”
“Sure!” I replied enthusiastically. “Until he discovers that the steering wheel has nothing to do with his direction of travel.”
In fact, he really liked sitting in the Zoo’s stroller. He was a bit cautious when it came to feeding the giraffe.
This weekend, this Valentine Day weekend, Nazy and I went to Lucky’s Steakhouse in Montecito. As you can imagine, this choice was somewhat controversial.
“You’re going to get fish, Nazy,” I predicted.
“Fish is healthy,” Nazy replied.
“It’s a steak house, Nazy.”
“They have good fish.”
“Ordering fish at Lucky’s is like choosing a brain surgeon with Parkinson’s Disease. It’s like telling a contortionist to ‘stand up straight’. It’s like giving corn flakes to a cereal killer…”
“It’s like what I like, Dan.” Nazy replied.
Melika worked at Lucky’s before going to Law School. Carol Burnett, one of her favorite customers, has her own table at Lucky’s — a table next to Carol’s picture. And, since Carol wasn’t using the table on Valentine’s evening, that’s where Nazy and I sat.
I had a steak, Nazy had Salmon. We shared a Blueberry Pie dessert.
Cheers and Happy Valentine’s Day
“Because, Nazy,” I explained, “this El Nino has been a bust.”
“I thought our rainfall was above average,” Nazy replied.
“Above average for January. However, we are still well below average for the rainy season. It began in October.”
“But..”
“That’s because we got no rain in October, November or December.”
“The rainy season goes until April.”
“We’re half-way through February and we’ve had no rain at all this month, my dear. In fact, it’s been ‘summer-hot’ for the last few weeks.”
“I saw,” Nazy concurred, “that we broke a high temperature record that was set in 1907.- more than 100 years ago.”
“And then we broke an1886 record set two centuries ago. I’d say it’s global warming, but..”
“But?”
“It was -10℉ (-23℃) in Boston today. That broke low temperature records set in 1934. Global cooling?”
Given that the forecasters inaccurately ‘predicted’ the impact of a highly studied, regular El Nino event, I’ve developed skepticism about global warming. And, because people like to hear about crisis, the news stations are now touting a series of reports on
“… La Nina 2017,” I explained. “They say we’ll have drought conditions next year.”
“What a surprise!” Nazy replied. “How do they come up with this stuff?”
“Computer models,” I explained.
“But didn’t a computer model predict heavy rain from El Nino?” Nazy asked reasonably.
“Yes. And a computer model predicted that mortgage derivatives were AAA investments.” ”So why does…”
“And a computer model predicted rain last week.”
“It didn’t rain last week.”
“My point. My dear.”
Last week I described the ball I had discussing the cat and the piano with my doctor who wanted to test my memory In revenge, he sent me to get an echocardiogram…
“Because?” I asked.
“Because at your age it is a good idea.” He replied.
I stopped by for the procedure this week. Although everything went well, I have to say that the cardiology building is highly uninviting. There was a line of about 50 people — with walkers, oxygen tanks, wheelchairs and canes. They all looked much, much older than me.
“I need to disguise my arrival,” I thought. “I don’t want my friends to think that I belong here.”
Accordingly, I ran up the stairs to the third floor.
“Huffing already?” the technician asked as I casually strolled into the office.
As I expected, there was nothing untoward discovered in the exam.
On the grandson front, I regret to acknowledge that, at 19 months, he is in the awkward stage: too heavy to carry, too stubborn to ride in his stroller (he wants to push it rather than sit it) and too curious to ‘hold hands’ when something exciting is happening elsewhere. Thus, as you can imagine, there were some misgivings when Nazy and I decided to take him to the zoo.
“The last time we did this, Nazy,” I began, “he only wanted to climb the stairs from the meerkats to the ant hill.”
“Dan..”
“And the anthill wasn't even a zoo exhibit; it was just an ‘ad hoc’ engineering project of some local fauna.”
“Dan..”
“He’s going to wonder all over the place.” I continued. “When I want to see the elephants,” I thought.
“Dan!” Nazy persisted. “I have a plan.”
“Great!” I replied. “Plan?” I thought. “Hilary has a plan. Even Trump has a plan. Just having a plan doesn’t mean you have a solution.”
“There are special strollers at the zoo, Dan. Strollers with steering wheels. He loves cars and he will ride in one of those strollers.”
“Sure!” I replied enthusiastically. “Until he discovers that the steering wheel has nothing to do with his direction of travel.”
In fact, he really liked sitting in the Zoo’s stroller. He was a bit cautious when it came to feeding the giraffe.
This weekend, this Valentine Day weekend, Nazy and I went to Lucky’s Steakhouse in Montecito. As you can imagine, this choice was somewhat controversial.
“You’re going to get fish, Nazy,” I predicted.
“Fish is healthy,” Nazy replied.
“It’s a steak house, Nazy.”
“They have good fish.”
“Ordering fish at Lucky’s is like choosing a brain surgeon with Parkinson’s Disease. It’s like telling a contortionist to ‘stand up straight’. It’s like giving corn flakes to a cereal killer…”
“It’s like what I like, Dan.” Nazy replied.
Melika worked at Lucky’s before going to Law School. Carol Burnett, one of her favorite customers, has her own table at Lucky’s — a table next to Carol’s picture. And, since Carol wasn’t using the table on Valentine’s evening, that’s where Nazy and I sat.
I had a steak, Nazy had Salmon. We shared a Blueberry Pie dessert.
Cheers and Happy Valentine’s Day
For last week's letter, click here
Note: Several Pictures follow
Lucky Valentine
Walking with the Grand(est)son
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