Zoo trains (Oktober)fest with Joe’s clear choice windows

As noted in last week’s letter, Nazy and I watched the local grandchildren while Melika and Tom went to Oktoberfest. We began the week with a visit to the Santa Barbara Zoo. Generally, Arrow’s favorites are the giraffes. But, we’ve also seen Tiger mesmerized by a column of ants. Azelle like to throw popcorn at the seagulls. And they all like playing on the …

“Play hill?” I asked.
Tiger land surfing at zoo Sept 2019

“Yes, Dan,” Nazy patiently explained. “It’s a hill in the middle of the playground..”

“… a playground in the middle of the zoo..” I continued.

Sliding down the hill on a piece of cardboard has always been one of the highlights of trip to the zoo. This year, Tiger, following surfing lessons in Carpenteria, ‘surfed’ down the hill. Arrow took the more traditional, ‘sliding down on your butt’, approach. Azelle just walked around the hill.

Of course, no trip to the zoo is complete without a trip on the …

“Train, Dan!I want to go on the blue
train this time.”

While we were hanging out at Melika’s, Nazy made arrangements to have the windows washed. (Thankfully, these arrangements did
not include me.)

Following normal protocol, she reviewed options on Yelp, selected two and asked them to come and deliver estimates. Joe, of Joe’s Window’s came the same day and delivered his estimate.
The second organization, ‘Clear Choice’ scheduled the estimate for Monday at 11:00 AM. At 11:45 (on Monday), noting that they hadn’t come, Nazy called …

“Clear Choice Window Services,” they answered.
Arrow butt surfing at Zoo Sept 2019

“I’ve got a few clear and choice words,” I thought as I listened to the conversation.

“No, you didn’t come to the house.” Nazy said. “I was here, but you weren’t.”

“Our ‘estimater’ did an ‘external’ review.”

“An external review? So he didn’t actually come and look at the house?”

“He looked from outside.”

“How did he see the back windows? You can’t get to the back yard unless you go through the house. I probably would have seen him in the house. Even if he was tip toeing.”

“We have experience.”

“Really,” Nazy replied. “
What about competence?” Nazy thought.

“We have emailed our quote.” they said, clearly choosing to stop the conversation.

Unfortunately, the quote, failed to contain a few expected components.

“Expected components, Dan?” Nazy asked.

“Yes. I didn’t see our address or Zip code.” I replied.

“That’s because they sent us the estimate for a house in…”

“… Tasmania?” I interjected.

While Nazy and I were chuckling over this ineptitude,
Clear Choice called to ask for feedback.

“We’ve chosen a different supplier,” Nazy explained.

“Can you let me know where we could have done better?”

“You could have come to the house when you said you would? You could have actually looked at the house. We may have been more convinced of the accuracy of your estimate if it referenced our house, rather than some random abode in Buellton.Do you really want to try again? Right now, I’m
clearly trying to forget my bad choice, but if you try again, I won’t be able to control my husband’s urge to connect with Yelp. And I don’t think he’s got any stars on his keyboard.”

“Thank you for thinking of us.”


dan and the boys zoo train Sept 2019

And, just after Nazy dealt with that, I got a robo-call from someone claiming…

“… valued ATT customer. Your phone has been suspended. To reinstate, press 1 now.”

What an interesting call, “ I thought. “My suspended phone works well enough to ring.” I pushed 1.

In a few minutes an actual human automaton began to speak..

“… we can clear this …”


“Dan,” Nazy admonished. “You only stopped using ATT about a year ago.”

Azelle Sept 2019

“Poetic license, my dear.” I replied as the phone rang again.

This is the Giuliani Lawless Firm. If you have information regarding Biden Family corruption with Ukraine, press 1, with China, press 2, with Australia press 3, with the UK press 4…. … if you’d like to donate to the porn star defense fund, press 98, If …”

“What are you waiting for?” Nazy, annoyed, asked me.

“I’m waiting for the ‘if you think Donald Trump is a clueless, hopeless, hapless, useless, vain, synaptically-challenged jerk who puts self interest above country interest then..”

“… you’ll be waiting for a long time,” Nazy concluded.

“I think
he’s getting desperate, Nazy.”

While I was thinking of windows and airheads, Apple upgraded, eh, updated, my iPhone overnight. As a result the car ‘forgot’ my phone and I had to reacquaint my blue teeth to both my car and my outdoor fountain. The new software was also configured so that when I reach into my pocket to retrieve a ringing phone, my fingers invariably hung up on the caller.

“…. and that’s your excuse?” Nazy interrupts.

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” I replied.

Nazy and I had a great time with Tiger, Arrow and Azelle. We have several candlelit dinners at Nirvana (Mel and Tom’s home). They mostly went to bed easily. Well, sort of easily. Tiger would only go to bed after I read him a story (or several) and tucked him in. Arrow would only go to bed after Nazy read him a story (or several) and tucked him in. Fortunately, Azelle was content with either of us — but when we were engaged with Tiger and Arrow there was nobody left for Azelle. So…

… she took advantage of the time: she learned to go down the stairs.

Finally, it is nice to see that my comments about spineless Republican legislators being proven on live TV. Watching these senators and congresspeople contort themselves into impossible shapes just to avoid answering a simple question makes it clear that they have no backbone.

At the end of the month, Nazy and I will be going to Bellingham to see Darius, Christiane, (the lovely) Leandra and (the astounding) Auriane.

For last week's letter, please click here

Nazy, Azelle and Arrow

Nazy arrow and azelle Sept end at Nirvana 2019

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