percussion! talent! renovation & budget: tornado & Trailer park
Now the weather forecasters predict “May Gray” : foggy mornings caused clouds that form over the ocean and then move onto the land overnight) for the coming weeks. I’m not concerned.
This week, Nazy and I took Tiger, the grand(est)son, to his first music class.
“Percussion is his ‘thing’, Nazy.” I noted as we were driving home after the lesson. “He’s really good at banging things on the ground and against each other.”
“He was also very active …”
“We have to teach him that a guitar is not a drum.”
“Maybe he wants to be a rock star, Dan.”
He was the most gregarious, outgoing and active member of the class. He really enjoyed himself. He swayed in rhythm to the music. Of course, musical talent runs in the family. Mitra took Suzuki piano lessons at 3 years old, has a Tango School and was a big shot at Princeton’s Triangle Club Theatre Group. Darius played a bassoon in middle school and is singing ‘The Great Mass in c-Minor (Mozart) as a tenor with the classical choir in Beirut. Melika and her husband Tom sang in the world’s most famous birth announcement: they have 5 Elvis Presley costumes. Nazy and I have talents aligned with listening to music, not performing music.
“You were in a musical, Dan. You must..”
“It was a bit part, Nazy. They asked me to not sing when they were trying something difficult - like melody or harmony. Darius is still..”
“Will we see Darius’ performance while we’re in Beirut?” Nazy asked.
“No, he performs this week.”
“Isn’t this finals week?”
“That’s right.”
“Finals week? He will have to grade a zillion exams..”
“500 exams..”“.. and finish three more research papers?”
“Yep. He’s moving to a new apartment as well.”
“He must have inherited his ‘planning’ gene from you, Dan. Does he have any time to do anything social?”
“I hope so because there is a special young lady …”
“I hope Christianne likes Mozart.”
“I wonder if she can grade economics exams.”
Darius’ free time, like the time remaining before our departure for Lebanon, is dwindling quickly. Nazy is busy making lists - which either contain items she wants to bring or jobs for me to do in preparation.
The Rock Star (and his grand Mom)
Meanwhile, Melika and Tom, are in serious negotiation for a house - a specific house.
“It’s a substantial house, Dad,” Melika explained. “But it has a personality disorder.”
“Eh?” I asked. Cogently.
“In some ways it’s Spanish, in some ways contemporary, in some ways..”
“It looked great to me,” I replied.
“We’ll do some renovation.”
“Arragh!” I screamed. “The house is perfect, Melika. You do not want to renovate.”
“We want it to look more modern.”
“Do you know what will happen if you embark on a renovation project?”
“We’ll make the house nicer - and matching our personalities?”
“You’ll drain your bank account.”
“That cannot happen, Dad.”
“It is easy to accurately compute the total cost of a renovation project, Melika. Get three complete estimates. Add them up. That will be the final co$t.”
“You’re being cynical.”
“I’m being experienced. And I haven’t even mentioned..”
:”… yet…”
“ .. the emotional anguish that will accompany the project.”
Flashback Hanover, New Hampshire
Surprising everyone, the construction crew arrived exactly on schedule. It was a kitchen renovation featuring new appliances, new cabinets, granite countertops, a new floor and a sunroom. The workers began by removing (violently) the old appliances, countertops, cabinets and floors. Then they smashed a 10 foot hole in the side of the house - where the sun room would be installed. There was an unexpected development.
“Carpenter Ants, Dan.” George, the general contractor explained. “You need to get rid of them. And we’ll need to replace some joists.”
Nazy called Orkin pest control. The ‘controller’ arrived quickly. I explained that the offensive ants were in the crawl space, under the kitchen.
“It’s kind of yucky down there. I don’t think..”
“That’s where ants are eating my floor.” I interrupted.
“And these chemicals I’ve got are dangerous.”
“This is your job,” I thought.
“You can get some ‘daddy-longlegs’ eggs. When they hatch, they’ll eat the carpenter ants. It’s much nicer to the environment.”
“We just moved here from Texas, my friend.” I replied. “There were fire ants in Texas. Naturally, we tried hand guns first. Then we used chemicals - strong chemicals, We used fire. We used radiation. I do not want to see these asset-eating insects in my house ever. I want them gone.”
“Darius even built a baking soda and vinegar volcano in a fire ant mound,” I thought. “It just spread the colony around.”
The Orkin guy wouldn’t enter the crawl space (I suggested that he find a new career). We found a different exterminator. While all of this was taking place, the builders moved a huge pile of trash (our cabinets, countertops, old appliances, and the wall of the house) into the driveway. They installed a thick plastic tarp over the gapping hole where the sun room was to be installed. Then they left..
“Hunting season!” they said. “Back in two weeks.”
The project cost twice what was budgeted (Maybe we shouldn’t have asked for granite countertops that had to be cut into curved shapes using diamond tipped saws. I still wonder if there is a profitable way to harvest and recompress the diamond dust scattered on the driveway.) The project took four times as long as scheduled. And, as soon as it was done, we moved to The Netherlands. In short: we lived (barely) through the construction and then paid for the work while someone else enjoyed it.
End Flashback
“Dad!” Melika interjected. “We have a budget and we will stick to it. We have to stick to it.”
“I have complete confidence in you, Melika, ” I replied. “Renovation is to budget go together like tornado is to trailer park,” I thought, recalling my SAT tests during High School. “Eh.. Melika, do you think carpenter ants are an endangered species in California?” I asked.
In truth, the house is already beautiful.
For last week's letter, click here
