Amazon reigns on upside down graduation Christmas Tree light
Nazy and I selected a perfect Christmas Tree. (Well, more accurately, Nazy selected a perfect Christmas Tree and I endorsed her selection.) To avoid the traditional installation battle (It’s not straight!), I arranged for professional assistance. In recognition of my inability to hide electric wires amongst the branches of ornamental fir trees, I delegated placement of the lights to Nazy. The effort was…
“… spectacular, Nazy.” I enthused. “It will be even better when we turn the lights on.”
“There was no help from you.” Nazy observed. Accurately.
“Not helping, my dear, was helping. I would have gotten in your way.”
“Just plug the lights into the extension cord, Dan.”
Unbeknownst to me, this simple request exuded danger and husbandly risk. Unaware, I plunged ahead — only to discover…
“… it won’t work, Nazy. I can’t plug a socket into a socket. You have installed the lights upside down.”
“And who wasn’t there to help? Dan?”
“Eh…”
“I am not taking them apart, so you have to figure out what to do.”
“No problem, my dear. I’ll just get male-to-male extension cord at the hardware store.” I said. “We live in California, so that shouldn’t be too hard,” I thought.
I couldn’t find the needed device at the hardware store, so I asked the electrician for help.
“You installed the Christmas Tree lights upside down?” He asked.“
“Well..” I began..
“We don’t sell that kind of power cord,” the electrician explained. “It’s illegal and dangerous.”
“It is dangerous only if you use it stupidly,” I replied. “I’m not stupid.” I continued.
“Really?” he thought. “You installed the Christmas tree lights upside down. Now you will have to take them down and start all over again,” he said.
“Thanks,” I replied. “Telling Nazy to start all over again is more dangerous than the illegal extension cord.” I thought as I considered alternatives. “I could build an adapter or, I can buy a black extension cord and route it along the tree trunk to the top of the tree. No one will notice.”
“I will notice!” Nazy retorted when I described the solution.
“Then I guess you should hide the cord,” I thought. “Do you think we should take everything down and start again?” I said.
“I will hide the cord, Dan.”
Tiger trying on sunglasses
Since it is Christmas season, we’ve spent a lot of time on the Amazon website. And a few nights ago I received a disquieting email. I was informed that, “as directed”, Amazon had enabled two-step verification. I had directed no such thing and replied accordingly. Amazon responded immediately:
“We are sorry that you are not pleased with your Celestron Telescope case. Please send it back and we will credit your account as soon as we receive it.”
I responded simply:
“Are you paying any attention whatsoever? I am not sending the case back, the case has nothing to do with my complaint. I did not direct two-stage verification. You have screwed up.”
Amazon was ready.
“In this situation, there is no need to return the telescope case. Please keep it, donate it or dispose of it properly. We apologize for the inconvenience and have credited your account.”
“I wish that my last purchase had been a Gulfstream 500 jet,” I thought.
I logged on to Amazon, changed my password, verified that I’d received a credit, made sure that nothing awry was in the purchase list and resolved to let Amazon figure out what to do next.
A milestone was marked this week for young Tiger: he graduated from swimming school — and got his diploma. He can jump in, turn around, climb out, hold his breath for three strokes, bounce off the bottom, clamber around the entire perimeter of the pool, pick up a hoop form the bottom in water that is 4 feet deep and, most importantly, do it all with a smile on his face. This feat was met with some..
“ … concern, Dad.” Melika said. “He’s the youngest in the class.”
“True. But he’s also the best — because he had the greatest grandfather.”
“Now he’ll have to take private lessons. Do you think we can hold him back one more semester so that…”
“ … he can graduate again?” I replied.
“Yes.”
Nazy is working with the school on that topic.
Interestingly, next semester it will be time for Arrow to begin swimming lessons. (The photo shoes Tiger a year ago.)
Nazy and I are also busy with parties and preparation of the house for the holiday. In addition to the Christmas Tree, Nazy has decorated the bannisters, the mantel, the dining room table (complete with an electric train) and the outside of the house (illuminated by lasers). We even arranged for a heavy rain to prepare the countryside.
We’re looking forward to a great family holiday; Darius and Christiane and Mitra and Stefan will all be here in Santa Barbara next Friday.
For last week's letter, please click here
Nazy and Arrow