Moving
Thimbles tumble into gurgling (high priced) watery chandeliers
08-12-18 07:41
How did Dan channel Howard Carter’s discovery of King Tut’s Tomb? (In the garage?) Did he find a golden thimble? How many thimble-fulls of water did resident gophers redirect to The Martin Family hillside? What, besides medical care, costs more in Santa Barbara than it did in Zurich? Should you expect a chandelier to be bilingual? Can Azelle gurgle more cutely than a leaky irrigation system? Read More...
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Calvada detonation falls sideways on Maui security system
12-09-18 11:12
Would you spend money for two acres of sand, eh, ‘land’ in Nevada? Would it matter if the ‘land’ had turned to glass because of a nearby nuclear weapon test site? Would the results of the nuclear test ban treaty have any impact on your decision? Why don’t things fall up? Can anything fall sideways? How did a life experience (and business decision) in Maui help prevent a bad family investment in Santa Barbara? Has (the amazing) Azelle mastered the skills necessary to be a beautiful baby? Read More...
pregnant hummingbird bests seagull in WiFi root canal move
13-08-18 20:57
What ‘feels’ longer — Melika’s pregnancy or Nazy and Dan’s house move? Is there anything Dan likes less than a root canal? Should we put sundry and knick-knacks in the same closet as miscellaneous and various? Will the WiFi ever work? (Will insulting the technician speed things up?) Are hummingbirds the appropriate response when seagulls (or crows) mistake your mailbox for an outhouse? Read More...
Rusty Mailbox fills my heart with joy and rocks my unpacked boxes
07-08-18 22:17
Does order really follow chaos? Before answering, note that the chaos was caused by a house move. And, if your answer is ‘Yes”, how long does it take? Is there a use for unpacked moving boxes? Does a ventriloquist dummy bring ‘joy to your heart’? Why should you care? Can a wonderful new home be spoiled by a rusty, dented mailbox? Where was Dan’s “WE WILL ROCK YOU” shirt hiding? Is he brave enough to wear it outdoors? Read More...
Scrapes on Stairs lifting The Matterhorn, Ties and Marble Tables
02-08-18 21:41
Was Nazy understanding when Dan complained about the weight of his tie collection? When was the last time Dan wore a tie? Who fed the Virginia cows? Hint: Normally Tigers eat cows. Can U-HAUL really ‘make things easy’ for someone who is moving to a different house? How did Dan and Nazy, veterans of moves to Memphis, Vancouver, Houston, Hanover, The Hague, Hanover, Zurich and Santa Barbara, forget promises to ‘never move again’? Does The Martin Family dining room table really weigh more than The Matterhorn? What has the most shelf space: amazon.com or Nazy Martin’s European Closets? Read More...
heavy anniversary U-HAUL makes Nazy’s heart beat fondly
26-07-18 22:15
Why does Dan think that a U-HAUL truck is an appropriate anniversary present? How much does lead crystal actually weigh? Will this year’s wedding celebration top the very special time Dan and Nazy spent celebrating in Sicily? (Where, at least, Mt. Etna did not erupt.) Where were Dan and Nazy when they went camel riding? Did Tiger really touch the Moon? Or at least a piece of the Moon?) Why would anyone book a holiday trip to our nation’s capitol a week before a house move? Read More...
Wedding music serenades planetarium art as banks and homes collide
20-09-17 21:46
How long did it take Nazy to get ready to attend a wedding? Hint: The wedding was on Saturday; At 3:15PM on The Saturday. Nazy was at the Santa Barbara airport baggage claim area. How many dumb things did Dan buy on the Internet while Nazy was traveling? What do you do if your bank has ‘no money’ after 2:00PM on a Friday afternoon? Would you be especially annoyed if your tax dollars had been used to bail out said bank? How can Arrow improve his cat feeding technique? And can Dan wrest control of ‘his’ iPad from a Tiger determined to get the high score? Read More...
stuff replicator swims In deficit stressed renovation
18-10-15 07:57
Did Dan actually manage an on-budget kitchen renovation project? (And why didn’t he learn anything from that success?) Who hid a ‘stuff-replicator’ in Dan and Nazy’s stuff? How do we know that it’s there? Did the replicator hide replicants of itself in Melika’s house? Why is silence the secret to a successful negotiation? And, finally how is the grand(est)son doing with his swimming? Read More...
Flat Beds Fly: Elite-less airlines Lie with immobile movers
10-10-15 16:01
Why do airlines tout ‘flat beds’ while mattress companies promote beds that let you sit up? Can Dan cope with the loss of Elite Frequent Flyer Status? Is he willing to pay for an upgrade? Will he ‘go nuclear’ when given an invoice for checked baggage? How did a Burning Man U-Haul experience prepare Melika and Tom for a house move? And, in a home renovation project, what’s more important: the master bath toilet or the outdoor hot tube? (Hint: the ‘movees’ live in California.
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Excavation in dewey Paducah requires Hi-Tech socks
26-09-13 17:10
Who is brave enough to ‘check out’ the storage closet that’s been undisturbed for 15 years? (Dan’s hope insured destruction hadn’t come to pass.) How did Dan put his knowledge of spherical coordinates and solid geometry to practical use? And why wasn’t Nazy practically thrilled by the results? Is there a word for gravity-immune, electrostatically-levitated moisture pellets? Is there, in fact, a way to measure rain that doesn’t hit the ground? Read More...
gurgling blue whales and economic swans of Paradise
09-03-13 11:35
Can Nazy find an appropriate place in Waldhuis, the new Martin Family residence, to put the oversized bronze swans? (Does a chicken have lips?) Will Darius generate statistics consistent with those of the Commerce Department - by himself in three weeks. (It took the government 30 years and consumed the time of a brigade of economists.) How did Melika celebrate a colorful birthday?
Read More...measured highlight (bulbs) don’t romantically Fit
02-03-13 16:44
Is it reasonable to expect that all the shelves of a built-in bookcase will be the same length? What forms should be filled for the background check necessary to purchase a bayonet-mount, eh, light bulb? Is it necessary, in order to be environmentally friendly in California, to be able to read from the light of a carrot? What’s the backup plan if American lightbulbs don’t fit your European fixture?
Read More...Earthquake Ginsu Labels vacuum Misplaced iPad
24-02-13 09:44
How did Dan use a Ginsu Knife to generate an earthquake? (How were Ginsu Blades used to construct the Chunnel?) Is it possible to mishandle an order for return address labels? Was it mishandled? (You decide.) Would anyone want to purchase a vacuum cleaner instead of a new iPad? Read More...
Feline Monster 50-Year Warrant allegorical alliteration
18-02-13 14:16
Do you earn your ‘grand parent’ badge when your daughter asks you to take care of ‘the little one’? Does it still count if ‘the little one’ is an 18 pound cat? Would you be concerned if your boss demanded that you call him as soon as your airplane lands in Mexico? If you won the lottery, would you pick up the winning check? And, if you have a Ginsu knife, please let me know. (If fact, if you know what a Ginsu knife is, please let me know.) Read More...
California Drizzard and Tar Pits volcano
10-02-13 12:03
If Heidi can build Swiss closets with an Allen wrench, why does Dan need Dr. Who’s sonic screwdriver? (And help from the Ewoks?) Where is there a Tar Pit Museum? Who won the Super Ball on Venice Boulevard? Will Dan and Nazy be ready for a monster weather event in Santa Barbara?
Read More...Slide rules Bank on rinse-less Box mountain
02-02-13 13:42
Have you seen a travelers banana box? Remember how to use an organically powered analog computational device? Where does the water refuse to stick to a towel? Who could mistake a diving pelican for a sounding whale? Read More...
Super Truck Boxes Congeal in Kitchen
27-01-13 07:48
How is international relocation like riding a bicycle? [Did you know that Dan broke his wrist riding a bicycle? Twice!] How much concentrated mass is necessary to trigger neutron collapse? [Is the planet at risk?] Will Nazy’s closets past muster? Read More...
Viking propositions no Cause for Alarm
19-01-13 09:14
Where did we find a refrigerator larger than our kitchen in Zurich? Is it possible to do business with an insurance agent who’s lived in Oxnard his entire life? If California told you that your coffee contained chemicals known to cause cancer, would that be a ‘cause for alarm’? How about if they added that your new car, meals at every restaurant, household paint, potted plants and toothbrushes contained similar (gasp!) chemicals? Suppose that your container was ‘randomly’ selected for a special examination by US customs - and you had to pay extra for them to do their job. Would this be ‘cause for alarm’?
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Forgotten storage snows Beirut Tango movie
12-01-13 08:57
Would you like to learn about Melika’s sure-fire business plan? (Why are Dan and Nazy ideal customers? Did Darius disprove the concept?) What would happen to Washington if arrogance and ignorance resulted in an uncontrolled chain reaction? Where can you read a journal page written by a five year old in 1985? Read More...