March 2017
verizon’s event horizon breaks kumquats and hearts in lotusland
Who’s palate is so ‘sophisticated’ that he likes the taste of kumquats? How did Verizon’s customer ‘service’ vanish into the event horizon of a nearby black hole? (This was the Verizon Event Horizon.) Would ATT or Sprint have been better? Would you trust FedEx to deliver the heart being used for your transplant surgery? Where did we learn that Spanish Moss isn’t Spanish and isn’t Moss? Read More...
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Daylight saving grace at New Year derrières with blue M&M
Is there any advantage of daylight savings time? (Or ‘summer time’ as they call it in Europe?) Can The Arrow fly? (Hint: he has a walker.) How can literal translations of traditional Persian greetings make you the butt of jokes? How can a shortage of blue M&Ms create a two year old meltdown? When is stopping for coffee a really dumb idea? Read More...
equinox blue spectacles and gray wildflowers replace granite
Why must the vernal equinox arrived at 3:28 Pacific Daylight Time? It’s not daylight at 3:28AM. And is it too late for Nazy to stay up or too early for Dan to get up? And why does it matter anyway? Who is wearing new blue spectacles? Hint: It is his favorite color — along with yellow. Are the fabled orange poppies blooming after epic winter rains. Or is a Heimlich Maneuver required to kickstart the flowers? And who is sporting a handlebar mustache? (Or, perhaps, a handlebar pacifier?) Finally, now that it’s been moved outside, does any life remain in the fable Martin Family dining room table? Read More...
Longer hour hand, lower weight, bigger train & (ampersand) peas
How did a simple observation about Spring (‘the days are getting longer&rdquo
devolve into a two-year old’s observation about time-(space) relativity? How did Dan astonish his doctor during his annual physical? (How did Dan create the illusion that he had followed his physician’s advice?) How did Dr. Bernstein regain the upper hand? Did you know that mashed peas are related to Mt. Saint Helens? How did the peas introduce volcanic concepts to 7 month-old Arrow? And who got to ride on a double-decker train? Read More...pneumatic sponge balls pixilate potholed (potted?) celebrity
01-03-17 10:59 Tiger,Family Humor
Can a new museum recreate exciting times from Dan’s childhood? I.e. things like doors that open themselves and a pneumatic tube apparatus that shoots colorful sponge balls into the air? Where can you see a pixelated photo of Dan and Nazy? How did Tiger’s decisions prove that he shares genes with Nazy? (Hint: He was shopping.] And what happens when you're out celebrity spotting in LA — but the celebrity spots you… or more disappointingly, bypasses you and flirts with your friend?
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