Stringless violins splash metaphorically in classical TSA Scam
Who commissioned the millennium symphony, which was bug-free in release 5.2? What should one do when the E-String breaks during a solo performance? Does the 18th century Stradivarius replacement sound ‘dark’ - even when played by a master? What play are you watching if they give you a rain poncho before you’re seated? (Will Dan understand the metaphorical metaphors in the Santa Barbara production of Metamorphoses?) What exciting event will take place within the next 8 weeks? (Hint: see photo.) Read More...
Sainted Blue Jay fowls orchid on New Year’s Day
What are the risks associated with living so close to the Santa Barbara Mission? Is it easier to eject a flustered Blue Jay or an enthusiastic Saint from The Martin Family kitchen? How would you deal with a ‘candy’ made from chickpeas? How might your approach change if the ‘candy’ is your wife’s favorite?
Read More...snickering candy bars off-handedly tempt Horatio Nelson
Do you know the definition of a ‘Tom Swifty’? If not, can Dan fill the vacuum succinctly? Are you ready for Persian New Year and the beginning of Spring? (9:57AM, Thursday, March 20, 2014 California Time.) How do you count fearlessly in German? And how many cavities did Dan’s crestfallen dentist discover?
Read More...4-time half-full pharmacy visit with ground-level parking
Who wants to divide the contents of a half-full glass by taking the bottom half? Why are American elevators so tricky? How many pharmacy visits does it take to fill a single prescription? (Hint: It’s an inept pharmacy attempting to fill a prescription that should be paid for by an insurance bureaucracy with the flexibility of a granite telephone pole.) And, why is this week’s letter full of photos of Darius?
Read More...Albert Schweitzer’s (wet) Olympic Tax-sheltered Crib
Why did Albert Schweitzer call Dan a ‘truly wise person’? Will Dan’s Olympic plans impress the tax authorities? Can Nazy win gold in speed painting? Why does Melika need an indestructible crib? (Hint: Someone destroyed The Martin Family crib.) Will California showers bring flowers or mud? Did the computerized weather model actually work? Read More...