Birthday
Chuck’s Cheesy Tales of Oregon Whale Tails
04-07-19 08:49
What’s the best thing to do after a ten day swing through the East Coast? More to the point: Would you choose Chuck E. Cheese and dueling drives to LAX? What keeps the Moon up in the sky? Hint: “It can’t be gravity, Dan, because that pulls things down!” Will the family whale watching tour deliver Whale Tails or Whale Tales? Who wants his Mommy? (Now!!). Read More...
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Orange Winter Storms Butterfly Birthday on Trampolin
29-05-19 21:09
What is the official name for a group of butterflies? Why do painted lady butterflies choose to migrate across the Pacific Coast Highway? At rush hour? Were any of them smart enough to seek refuge in the local museum’s live butterfly sanctuary? Did anyone in Santa Barbara know what to do about a ‘Winter Storm Warning’? (Did anyone recognize the word ‘Winter’?) How did Arrow deal with the ‘slow moving’ obstacles on his obstacle course run? Would you volunteer to chaperone a pre-school visit to the zoo if you knew the topic was ‘bugs’? (Hint: I’m a lion guy.) Who provided detailed specifications for her birthday cake (orange), menu and agenda? (By detailed, we’re thinking multi-volume.) Read More...
Cat, eh, Koi, eh, Angelfish feeder carries ABC luggage
03-03-19 19:16
Can Dan, with help from an engineer-written instruction addendum, successfully configure an automatic and analog cat (and koi) feeder to work with his aquarium? Will the end product disrupt gray whale migration in the nearby Santa Barbara channel. How does two year old Arrow describe his Mom’s work? (His Mom is a lawyer.) Where did Tom and Melika celebrate Melika’s birthday? Why is there a suitcase issue as Nazy plans packing for our forthcoming trip to Australia? Read More...
tiger helps rocking horse (2nd) birthday with rabbit cake
15-07-18 19:07
Will the big, bold, beautiful behemoth of a unused rocking horse survive the forthcoming Martin Family move? How did Arrow and Tiger conspire to tip the decision-making scales? How did Nazy react? (Hint: Does the phrase ‘I told you so’ spring to mind?) Why is Tiger happy to have his little brother join him at pre-school? And why is Arrow happy that his big brother is with him at school? What do rabbits have to do with a two year old’s birthday? Will Tiger, willing to help blow out the candles, dance at Arrow’s birthday? And, finally, what calamity befell Dan during exercise class? Read More...
chalk perfection always wins as AT&T mixes cement in matchboxes
20-06-18 19:04
Can Tiger replicate the world class chalk artwork at the Santa Barbara Mission — on our driveway? Okay, the question was too easy: Can he do it with Nazy’s help? Who needs to win every game? Why did Tiger's 4th birthday cake have the number 20 on the icing? (And why did it have five candles?) What toy replaces a little boy’s matchbox car? (And how big is the replacement?) Hint: we’re going to have to move soon.) Will Dan give up on ATT Direct Now and slink back to Cox Cable? Read More...
puzzling Vermont fares baffle algorithm as train wrecks birthday waiter
30-05-18 21:43
It turns out that loosing jigsaw puzzle pieces is a core family competency. So, who lost half (New Hampshire and Vermont) of New England? Who designed the airline pricing algorithm that proposed a ‘flexible economy’ ticket that cost 5 times more than an unrestricted business class ticket? How should you choose the celebrity to mimic when you’re taking a selfie with a three year old? (And how did we do?) Can Dan deal with an overly solicitous, hands-on, obsequious waiter? Read More...
Spring trees wearing bandaids tie traditions in knots
08-04-18 16:31
Your grandson asks: Why does that tree have a bandaid? Do you explain tree grafts? Do you pretend that he’s speaking into the ‘bad’ ear? Do you say: “Yes, that tree has a boo boo.”? Were you afraid of the Easter Bunny when you were 1 (and a half) years old? Were you still afraid even it was your Daddy inside the costume? Can Dan master streaming TV? And what will Tiger do as he begins collecting royalties on his likeness? Read More...
no miniBBQ vans surprise Nazy in Santa Barbara (but Sister Does)
04-04-18 08:36
Who ordered ‘soul food’ for a party of 250 when they meant to order for a group of 25? Was Dan able to fix the problem with gargantuan BBQ rib consumption? More to the point, why wasn’t the cake similarly sized? How do you change a birthday celebration into a birthday jubilee? Hint: Lots of rolling thunder surprises can help. Where does ‘freeway free’ really mean ‘traffic light enabled’? What color was the vanity license-plated VAN-GO minivan? And will Dan ever get another one? Read More...
Surprise! Clues Candles Minivans Cakes Grandkids and Hi Tech Loos
01-04-18 08:57
Will Nazy be surprised? (Can Dan and 25 other guests keep the secret?) Who said the ‘M-word’? Repeatedly? Hint: The word in question is ‘Minivan’. Who created a great Riff on a Hamilton song? And why? How did sleight of hand (and prestidigitation) keep secrets intact? How did Arrow react when it turned out that he was no longer the youngest baby in the house? Would you know how to use a joystick controller for the toilet? (Could you do it without reading chapter 28 in the instruction manual?) Read More...
shower curtains in Katmandu lock bathroom Cherries Jubilee
03-10-17 23:26
Will Nazy insist on a lettuce soufflé for dessert on Dan’s birthday? (Or will Cherries Jubilee make a fiery entrance?) Have you thought about how much ‘stuff’ is needed to set up a new home? And where can you find all of that ‘stuff’? Does Dan or Tiger have the best grasp of dinosaur names? (Hint: Do you know the difference between a Spinosaurus and a Stegosaurus?) Is superglue appropriate in a shower curtain installation project? Will duct tape suffice?
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Post Office tables and gargantuan desk wins twister party in LA
25-09-17 18:33
Who uses the postal service to transport a table across a sea (The Mediterranean) an ocean (The Atlantic) and a continent (North America)? And how many stamps did that take? And, on the subject of tables: who constructed a beautiful hardwood dining table without using a single screw, nail, dab of glue or even duct tape? (Hint: It’s not me. My entire repertoire of tools contains only two items: WD-40 (to make things go) and Duct Tape (to hold things together.) Why was the surprise birthday in Los Angeles such a complete and total surprise? Do you remember playing Twister? (With a three year old?) Read More...
smoke and ash, butterfly balloons and toys thrill birthday boy
16-07-17 22:07
Has Dan found an appropriate use for the clown horn ringtone? Does anyone need to have an Australian accented female announce iPhone callers? And, thinking about that, why do we say the phone ‘rings’ when, in fact, ringing is not what it does? How did the nearby wildfire remind Dan of a snowy night in New Hampshire? Did the music school recycle Tiger’s birthday party hat on Arrow’s first birthday? Who popped the butterfly balloon? And how is the youngest, but grandest daughter sleeping? (And notice that Arrow is wearing an 'arrow' shirt.) Read More...
Neon graveyard in Death Valley presages Mojave campout
10-04-17 09:53
Who would propose a romantic trip to Death Valley as a birthday gift? (Hint: the person celebrating her birthday gave the proposer a colonoscopy for his birthday.) Where is the hottest, the driest and the lowest US National Park? Would you want to visit a tacky, neon lit cemetery? (Well, we were in Las Vegas.) Should you listen to a navigation computer that recommends a route that is 75 miles longer? And, related: Is there anything to do when you’re completely stopped, between Mojave desert exits, on the I-15? Read More...
Birthday body glitters with Beatles red sole sales
06-04-17 21:40
Who had an April Fool’s Day birthday in Las Vegas? How did Dan get body paint and glitter dabbed into his beard? Why would anyone want $hoe$ with red soles? Was Cirque du Solei able to resurrect The Beatles or was it all a Mirage? Where can you see a giant statue of Popeye? What did Dan do when reminded to use ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’? Read More...
verizon’s event horizon breaks kumquats and hearts in lotusland
27-03-17 16:01
Who’s palate is so ‘sophisticated’ that he likes the taste of kumquats? How did Verizon’s customer ‘service’ vanish into the event horizon of a nearby black hole? (This was the Verizon Event Horizon.) Would ATT or Sprint have been better? Would you trust FedEx to deliver the heart being used for your transplant surgery? Where did we learn that Spanish Moss isn’t Spanish and isn’t Moss? Read More...
Dolly lures sliding carousel socks in sleepless birthday ritual
02-10-16 13:57
Will Tiger succumb to peer-pressure and ritual by taking an actual nap? (How did ritual fail in the case of Darius?) Did Tiger insist that Dan celebrate his birthday on the Carousel and the Spiral Slide? Did Dolly Parton sing ‘Happy Birthday, Dan?’ What was Nazy thinking when she gave Dan a pair of socks for this birthday? Or did she lure him into drawing an astronomically unlikely conclusion. And, would the birthday celebration interfere with Jeopardy? Read More...
polarized flamingos pull wisdom teeth with Maui iPhone
25-09-16 11:20
What would you do if your dentist, Dr. Vladamir Throb (nicknamed Vlad the Impaler) recommended a wisdom tooth extraction? What if your wife said: “He’ll have to go deep if he’s looking for wisdom”? What do you think about when someone asks for help with a citation? Why did Maui Jim relocate the Hawaiian Islands to Peoria, Illinois? When will Dan and Nazy discover the ‘catch’ in ATT’s latest ‘deal’? Where are the flamencos gray? Read More...
Butterfly Museum in Firefly City excites birthday Tiger
19-06-16 09:28
Is Tiger ready to interact with a tent full of fluttering butterflies? Or will he find a T-Rex exhibit, a Blue Whale sculpture or a live barn owl more exciting? Did a cosmic ray cause a mutation that made caterpillars create butterflies that morphed into fireflies? (It must be true, what else could have started the local fire?) And who told Dan that “You have to catch me!”? Read More...
Toys R Us archeological find chalks up Birthday Car
12-06-16 09:49
Was it Nazy or Dan that was brave enough to venture into The Storage. Did that certain someone actually find something useful in The Storage? What toy store’s financials were impacted by the huge magnitude of the find? Who arranged the entirely appropriate chalk drawing at the annual I Madonnari exhibit by the Old Mission? (And why was it appropriate?) How did young Tiger, the grand(est)son celebrate his second birthday? Read More...
drought tweets picnic basket birthday swim with goggles
05-06-16 09:08
What occasion was so important that The Martin Family picnic basket had to be deployed? (I can’t share the initials of the birthday girl, but her name was ‘Mitra’.) How often was the picnic basket — complete with wine glasses and corkscrew — ever used during our twelve year stay in Switzerland? Which Presidential candidate can’t tell the difference between a lake, a river, a creek and a dessert? (Hint: He went to a ‘university’.) Will the grand(est)son swim with goggles before his 2nd birthday? Read More...
romantic shingles ram and juice nazy’s birthday celebration
03-04-16 15:09
Why wasn’t Nazy impressed with Dan’s birthday gift? After all, isn’t it true that the family that gets vaccinated together, stays together? And, do you think that a cold juicer is, well, utilitarian rather than romantic? Was it possible that Dan missed subtle hints about alternatives. (BTW: when you think ‘subtle’, think of elephants stampeding or Presidential candidates ‘debating’ or fireworks factories exploding.) Did Nazy forget that her birthday is on April Fool’s Day? What did she do with Elmer’s glue and a bottle of sand? And, were Dan and Nazy able to avoid the woodlands police while following an ancient Persian tradition? Read More...
Siamese business fish duel for new year easter egg birthday
27-03-16 15:19
The Persian new year celebration traditionally needs a goldfish. How did Nazy explain the use of a Siamese fighting fish instead? Young tiger found the gold Easter egg — so why was Dan disappointed. (Hint: we didn’t win the Lamborghini.) How is El Nino like the loudest Presidential candidate? And what happened the last time we had a businessman as President? Finally: Happy Birthday Darius; can’t wait to see you get married next month. Read More...
Zuni necklace? Tee-Shirt? While Bison Dan blocks the road
04-10-15 09:47
If you’re making a vintage western photograph, would Dan be The Good? The Bad? or The Ugly? *(Hint: Nazy said he could assume ‘The Good.&rsquo
Who, when they can’t decide on a tee-shirt color, compromises by buying a necklace? And a pair of boots? And a vest? And a hat?Where can you see a landscape that reminds you of Io? Read More...Sainted United Air chooses Delta for Teton Birthday trip
27-09-15 06:50
How did United Airlines finally deliver a perfect flight experience? (Hint: it involved another airline.) Where do bugs hitting the windshield sound like hail-sized baseballs? Is it a sheer coincidence that the Pope visited and the moon was eclipsed on Dan’s birthday weekend? Why are they renaming the street where we live? What led to a Grand visit to the Tetons? Read More...
Swimming, dancing, walking tiger babbles epithets at Skype
14-06-15 12:43
Can Skype bring a baby to tears? What does Dan have in common with the graduation speaker at the American University of Beirut? The grand(est)son’s dancing genes are shared by Mitra, but where did he get his babbling genes? Who gets his comeuppance - and why? And, didn’t someone, a grand(est) someone have a birthday party? Read More...