Memphis, 1984: Nazy and I were focused on reducing the amount of stuff we had to transport to Canada. We were in full ‘throw it out mode’.

The renovation at Melika’s and Tom’s new home was not exactly complete. The ‘budget”, like my stock options, was underwater. Melika and Tom were learning lessons like every person who ever undertook a home renovation project. Every person, except me, an initial success:

Flashback Memphis Tennessee

I was determined to finish the kitchen project in our first home - all by myself. But things kept popping up. The wall I wanted to move was a heavy plaster construct connected to a load-bearing beam. The newly acquired, double sink shared a drain with the new dishwasher. Getting all three to connect to the house drain had required innovation and a few thousand aluminum fittings. There was no storage space under the sink because of the maze of pipes. I had tried to explain it all to Nazy…

“It doesn’t matter if there are two ‘U-traps’, Nazy. The key is to get all the water out. Let me explain again the route that the dishwater takes to th drain.” I got a pointer and assumed my most professorial attitude.

“That’s very complicated, Dan.” Nazy replied.

“I know. And I’m very proud of it.”

“How does the water know that it should turn right instead of just going straight now,” Nazy said as she pointed to a particularly complicated junction.
“I’ll get back to you on that,” I responded. “Who is responsible for gravity?” I thought.

After several weeks with minimal progress, I came home one evening, noted the normal fog of airborn plaster dust and discovered that all of the pots and pans were packed. Because..

“…. no more cooking or eating here, Dan.” Nazy explained. “Not until the kitchen is fixed.”

“Just because the plaster dust is…”

“Just because I don’t think you know how to do it.”

Vancouver, Canada 1985. We couldn’t believe that we had brought so much junk to Canada, so we were determined to throw it out before our move to Houston.

I advertised for a handyman. A candidate arrived. We checked his references and arranged a meeting. Meticulously he reviewed my work and asked Nazy what she wanted. Diplomatically, he didn’t mention the disparity. He estimated the number of hours required to complete each task. He handed his estimate to me. I didn’t say anything..

“Most of this work is undoing my plumbing,” I thought.

“I charge $37.50 an hour and this will require 117 hours of work,” he said breaking the silence.

“Let’s see,” I thought. “That would be $3750 + …”

“I can probably get you a substantial refund on al the extra pipes under the sink,” the handy man interrupted.

“Hmm,” I said. But I was also thinking: “I can estimate the additional 17 hours as 20 hours which would be twice $375. Adding that to…”

“Of course, this is the off-season, so I can do the work for $25/hour.”

“Now I have to start the computation all over again,” I thought. “Should I do multiplication or simply take a percentage off of the previous result?”

Houston, Texas 1986 We were astonished by the mass of useless stuff that we had moved to Texas and we were determined to throw it out before moving to New Hampshire.

“Look!” The handyman exclaimed. “I really need the work. I’ll do it for $12.50/hour and guarantee to get back at least 50% of what you spent on drain pipes.”

“You’ve got a deal,” I replied — in Shark Tank mode.

He finished early and everything worked. I learned that silence is often the best negotiation tactic. But, I was left unprepared for the much larger project that followed in Hanover, New Hampshire.

End Flashback

While Melika and Tom were overseeing large scale construction, Nazy and I concentrated on a smaller project:

“Those light bulbs are very expensive,” Nazy complained to the hardware sales clerk.

“You’ll save a lot of money.” He replied.

“What happened to the old kind?” Nazy continued.

Hanover, New Hampshire 1989: Astonished that we had brought so much junk from Houston, we were mercilessly culling our collection pending or move to The Netherlands.

“Old style bulbs are being phased out. They use a technology invented by Thomas Edison more than 100 years ago. They’re inefficient. The future is LED lights.”

“LED lights make blue light. I don’t want Dan to look like Cookie Monster.” Nazy replied. “He already eats like Cookie Monster,” she thought.

The clerk showed Nazy LED light bulbs that were not (too) blue and somehow convinced her that she’d make the huge price difference back in ‘a few months’. We supplemented her selection with purchases on Amazon. I changed the bulbs - keeping the old ones for reinstallation when we move. Then I waited for the electricity bill — fully ready to confront the clerk.

“Well?” Nazy asked when the bill arrived.

“Down by 70%, We’ll make our money back in two months.” I replied — astonished. “I guess my Dad was right when he kept telling me to turn off the lights,” I thought.

The Hague, 1994: Certain that we didn’t want to ‘bring all that clutter back to the USA’, Nazy and I were callously giving away (my favorite desk) or throwing away extraneous possessions.

Back at Melika’s new house, I was surveying the massive piles of ‘stuff’. “You really out to get rid of most of that.” I said.

“Don’t you have ‘valuable’ things in two different storage places, Dad?” Melika retorted.

“Are you trying to shame me with the old ‘pot calling the kettle black’ ploy?” I asked feeling somewhat like a cast iron frying pan.

“Once we’re settled, you can bring your storage to our garage for sorting and disposal,” Melika continued.

Note: We also made major culls in our ‘stuff’ when we moved to Switzerland and from Switzerland. Somebody has obviously hidden a ‘stuff replicator’ somewhere in our home.

This week, the grand(est)son moved up to a new level in swimming. He can now jump into the water (from sitting on the side) and swim a couple of stokes forward. He can also jump in, turn around and grab the side. He’s almost able to pull himself out. The school credits his excellent, hands-on, grandfatherly instructor.

For last week's letter, please click here

Tiger Swimming Sept 2015