May 2017
software (down) grades Dan’s pretty French (or Farsi) skills
Who (mindlessly) thought that accepting a software upgrade would be a good idea? How did Tiger foil Dan’s claims of linguistic superiority? And, did it replicate the victory that Mitra achieved a couple of decades earlier? On the subject of speech, is it proper to say “The baby shakes the shakers?”. What about punctuation of the previous sentence? How did a cranberry bagel (with cream cheese) and a pretty French lady feature into martial harmony? Read More...
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Grand Mothers (to be) days balance please go now desk
Where did the family’s Mother’s Day celebrants convene? Did we salute Grandmothers and Mother’s to Be as well? Why won’t 9 month old Arrow accept well-meaning and obviously accurate grandfatherly commentary? I’m talking about advice like: “You need a mastery of balance before you try to walk”. Do you have to learn to read if you’ve already memorized all your books? Why (and how) did Dr. Seuss frighten young Tiger. (Hint: Tigers are orange.) Can Nazy do watercolors on a leather covered table? Read More...
Glasses and bicycles foster insurance foibles and Jacaranda trees
Are non-native invasive species subject to a Executive Order ban signed by the current (block) head of the executive branch? Can a tree — especially a beautiful Jacaranda Tree — be dangerous to domestic tranquility? (What about kudzu and fire ants?) Is there an “I hate eye glasses gene?” Why are we keeping Tiger away from row boats and canals? How many passion fruit does it take to balance a honeydew melon on a scale? What miracle did Dan need to perform in The Hague in order to get reimbursement from an insurance company?
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heavy, salty old ladies softens most orange bulldozer passport
Why, in a checkout queue, is Dan always behind the slowest person on the planet? And, related, why is the stupid one’s mother always pregnant? How did a 40 pound bag of salt and a 15 cent Teddy Bear impact the checkout? If you wanted to keep your PIN code secret — would you choose ‘1234’? (And, if you did, wouldn’t you be able to remember it?) Will the orange one throw a doltish executive order into Nazy’s passport renewal process? Would Tiger rather play with a toy bulldozer in a sandbox or get a haircut? And why does Arrow keeping practicing to master the world’s best face plant? Read More...