Albert Schweitzer’s (wet) Olympic Tax-sheltered Crib
Rain! There has been rain in Santa Barbara! It was astonishing because
“... the weather channel forecast this storm 10 days in advance.”
“You’re kidding!” Nazy exclaimed.
“Ten days ago, on the 10 day forecast, Alan Rose projected a 100% chance of heavy rain on day 10; thee was heavy rain day 10. I am flabbergasted.”
“Forecasting has improved...”
“Right! I remember having to shovel 4 inches of ‘partly cloudy’ off the driveway when we were living in Memphis.”
“In fact, wasn’t it snowing while the TV weatherman Dave Brown forecast the ‘partly cloudy’?”
“That’s true. It must be easier to predict Santa Barbara weather since our storms come from the west, across several thousand miles of unobstructed ocean.”
“Or maybe now they use satellites and sophisticated computer models.”
“Maybe.” I said. “The banks used ‘sophisticated computer models’ - and we know how that worked out,” I thought.
It took very little time for brown grass to become green grass. But, we’re not completely out of the woods. In order to get back to normal rainfall for the year, we need a few days of rain like this. Refilling the reservoirs will take 40 days and 40 nights. The problem now is more slippery: nearby cliffs could turn to mud before sliding toward the sea. There have been anticipatory evacuations in parts of Los Angeles. But right now, we’re celebrating because..
“The showers, Dan, will bring flowers!” Nazy exclaimed.
“Right,” I replied. “But we already had flowers,” I thought.
Regular readers and, in fact, anyone who has spoken with me for more than 4 minutes, knows that the residence-based income tax (an approach taken by only two countries: the United States of America and Eritrea) is a sore subject. Luckily, unfairness in the tax code has been spotted by a Senator from South Dakota:
The US Olympic Commission gives a cash award to Olympic medal winners but the IRS treats the cash as foreign-earned income - which is, of course, taxed. But because we “don’t want to punish success”, Senator Thune has proposed an exemption for Olympic medal winners. I was overjoyed by this exciting development:
“Finally, Nazy, someone in Congress is worried about the unfair tax treatment of foreign-earned income. I will begin training immediately.”
“Training?”
“I think archery is the best chance for me to get a gold medal - and a tax exemption.”
“Archery?”
“Yeah. I found an arrowhead in New Hampshire once.”
“You found an arrowhead?”
“At a shop.”
“Why don’t you try luge?”
“That’s dangerous.”
“So are you.”
“Did you know that they used to give Olympic gold medals for art? There was a painting category until 1948.”
“They stopped that prize before I was born. But, maybe we could revive the category - but you don’t like subjective ‘sports’.”
“I’d support speed-painting.”
I realize that winning an Olympic Gold Medal is a long shot, but the alternative, finding a legislator with common sense (and common decency) to go with integrity has much lower probability.
And, here in Santa Barbara, Melika has entered her final trimester. A baby is expected in late May or early June. (By ‘expected’, I mean, ‘will arrive’.) Attention has been turned to getting proper baby equipment. Melika has been searching for the perfect crib:
“Get something sturdy,” Nazy recommended.
“Yeah,” I interjected. “You destroyed ours.”
“And something safe,” Nazy continued.
“Yeah,” I concurred. “You climbed out of ours.”
“Only temporarily, Dan.”
“Right, until she destroyed the slats.”
Melika, ignoring us, noted that it was difficult to choose clothes because she wanted to be surprised by the birth.
“I don’t think it will be a surprise, Melika,” I concluded.
“Of course it will be a surprise, we..”
“Melika! You’ve been pregnant for six months. You will have a baby. It will not be a surprise.”
“Dad...”
“Although at about this time, I remember Nazy telling me that she was going to be pregnant forever. By the way: would you like some ice cream?”
“You are missing the point.”
“Right. Clothing. Just get something classic and sophisticated. The kind of stuff you used to wear.”
“... the weather channel forecast this storm 10 days in advance.”
“You’re kidding!” Nazy exclaimed.
“Ten days ago, on the 10 day forecast, Alan Rose projected a 100% chance of heavy rain on day 10; thee was heavy rain day 10. I am flabbergasted.”
“Forecasting has improved...”
“Right! I remember having to shovel 4 inches of ‘partly cloudy’ off the driveway when we were living in Memphis.”
“In fact, wasn’t it snowing while the TV weatherman Dave Brown forecast the ‘partly cloudy’?”
“That’s true. It must be easier to predict Santa Barbara weather since our storms come from the west, across several thousand miles of unobstructed ocean.”
“Or maybe now they use satellites and sophisticated computer models.”
“Maybe.” I said. “The banks used ‘sophisticated computer models’ - and we know how that worked out,” I thought.
It took very little time for brown grass to become green grass. But, we’re not completely out of the woods. In order to get back to normal rainfall for the year, we need a few days of rain like this. Refilling the reservoirs will take 40 days and 40 nights. The problem now is more slippery: nearby cliffs could turn to mud before sliding toward the sea. There have been anticipatory evacuations in parts of Los Angeles. But right now, we’re celebrating because..
“The showers, Dan, will bring flowers!” Nazy exclaimed.
“Right,” I replied. “But we already had flowers,” I thought.
Regular readers and, in fact, anyone who has spoken with me for more than 4 minutes, knows that the residence-based income tax (an approach taken by only two countries: the United States of America and Eritrea) is a sore subject. Luckily, unfairness in the tax code has been spotted by a Senator from South Dakota:
The US Olympic Commission gives a cash award to Olympic medal winners but the IRS treats the cash as foreign-earned income - which is, of course, taxed. But because we “don’t want to punish success”, Senator Thune has proposed an exemption for Olympic medal winners. I was overjoyed by this exciting development:
“Finally, Nazy, someone in Congress is worried about the unfair tax treatment of foreign-earned income. I will begin training immediately.”
“Training?”
“I think archery is the best chance for me to get a gold medal - and a tax exemption.”
“Archery?”
“Yeah. I found an arrowhead in New Hampshire once.”
“You found an arrowhead?”
“At a shop.”
“Why don’t you try luge?”
“That’s dangerous.”
“So are you.”
“Did you know that they used to give Olympic gold medals for art? There was a painting category until 1948.”
“They stopped that prize before I was born. But, maybe we could revive the category - but you don’t like subjective ‘sports’.”
“I’d support speed-painting.”
I realize that winning an Olympic Gold Medal is a long shot, but the alternative, finding a legislator with common sense (and common decency) to go with integrity has much lower probability.
And, here in Santa Barbara, Melika has entered her final trimester. A baby is expected in late May or early June. (By ‘expected’, I mean, ‘will arrive’.) Attention has been turned to getting proper baby equipment. Melika has been searching for the perfect crib:
“Get something sturdy,” Nazy recommended.
“Yeah,” I interjected. “You destroyed ours.”
“And something safe,” Nazy continued.
“Yeah,” I concurred. “You climbed out of ours.”
“Only temporarily, Dan.”
“Right, until she destroyed the slats.”
Melika, ignoring us, noted that it was difficult to choose clothes because she wanted to be surprised by the birth.
“I don’t think it will be a surprise, Melika,” I concluded.
“Of course it will be a surprise, we..”
“Melika! You’ve been pregnant for six months. You will have a baby. It will not be a surprise.”
“Dad...”
“Although at about this time, I remember Nazy telling me that she was going to be pregnant forever. By the way: would you like some ice cream?”
“You are missing the point.”
“Right. Clothing. Just get something classic and sophisticated. The kind of stuff you used to wear.”
“We’ll need a stroller, but..”
“Strollers are much heftier now,” I replied. “I remember seeing a Main Battle Stroller with 24 wheels at Schiphol Airport,” I thought.
“.... colleagues at the firm gave me a great one.” Melika continued. “A mere 18-wheeler,” she thought.
As you’ve undoubtedly surmised, there is a lot of excitement here about forthcoming events. Photos in this week’s edition feature a young Melika.
The Weekly Letter thought of the day shows that Albert Schweitzer called me a ‘truly wise person’:
“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight... The truly wise person is color- blind.”
- Albert Schweitzer
Mitra and Melika
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