puzzling Vermont fares baffle algorithm as train wrecks birthday waiter
Arrow and Tiger in Santa Barbara
Tiger and Arrow both enjoy working on puzzles. We found an old favorite of Darius’ in storage. it is a double sized map of the USA… with the pieces in the actual shape of the states.. except for some small states in New England in which multiple states share one piece. And, after 30 years, Vermont and New Hampshire are still missing.
The next few months are going to be very hectic for Nazy and me. In addition to a visit by Darius, Christiane and the lovely Leandra (for birthday number 1), Nazy and I will be flying to the east coast three times. Accordingly, I’ve been looking for ‘good flights’ — i.e. reasonable departure and arrival times, good prices and economy class avoidance. Luckily, some airlines present several options while you are looking. Herewith an actual screenshot of a United Airlines offering:
“The algorithm needs a bit of tweaking,” I thought, briefly wondering if the massive frequent flyer miles granted to the ‘flexible economy’ purchase would outweigh the stupidity quotient of the purchaser. I was also reminded of one of my business trips to London.
Flashback
DEC offices, Maynard, Massachusetts.
“Do you have your passport with you,” Sri, head of DEC Consulting and Immigration asked me.
“Yes, of course,” I replied.
“Take the first flight to London and review the Universal Music project.”
“What, specifically, do you want me to do there?”
“Make the project manager to stop calling me.”
It was a Tuesday afternoon, too late to catch the evening flight. I called the Travel Division and asked for the first flight out — fully expecting it to take place the next evening. But British Air had a morning flight from Boston to London. My ticket, conforming to DEC travel standards, was delivered late that evening (this was before everything was electronic.) When I arrived at the airport, I handed the ticket to the agent. His eyes bulged and..
“Look at this!” He shouted. “Come and see this!”
When his colleagues gathered, he displayed my ticket.
“I’ve never seen one of these before,” he exclaimed. “It is a full-fare economy class ticket.”
Then he turned to me..
‘I’m afraid I can’t accept this sir,” he said. “Geneva rules and simple human decency mandate an upgrade. I assume that your company is responsible for this blunder.”
In London, I discovered that the external Project Manager, who lived in a hovel within walking distance of the Universal Music offices, was on a strange incentive contract. He was paid £1/year, but would receive a £1,000,000.00 bonus if the project was completed on time. For some reason, he was very uncomfortable with hardware shipping delays. BTW: The project was finished on time and British Air did not upgrade me on the way home.
End Flashback
After missing last week’s swimming class (it was ‘safety day’ — i.e. swim in your clothes whichTiger refused), both Tiger and I were looking forward to class. We usually arrive early so with time to splash around and get comfortable before his private lesson begins. For some reason, the splash area was closed. So we just sat and took selfies. I posed with my Rudy Giuliani face (which caused Tiger to try to throw up.)
“Hey Tiger,” I stated, trying to get in the Giuliani character by making a statement at odds with objective fact. “Did you know that the sun goes around the earth.”“No, Dan,” Tiger replied. “That’s not the way it works. The moon goes around the earth.”
I thought for a moment and before responding with a simple example of “Trump defense speak”:
“Did you know only some people have to stop at a red light? If you have the right job, you can decide whether you need to stop.”
“That’s not a good idea, Dan. There would be a wreck.”
“Actually, Tiger, it’s a train wreck.” I replied.
As usual, the city of Santa Barbara was in full festive mode to help celebrate Mitra’s birthday. Every year since we moved from Switzerland, there has been a sidewalk chalk painting festival in front of The Mission — on Mitra’s birthday. And this year, Kourosh was also in town for the celebration. Nazy arranged bubbly Prosecco and a strawberry birthday cake. We went to a new Italian restaurant with an
“ …. over exuberant waiter,” I noted as we were driving home.
“He was a bit..” Nazy began.
“ … over the top. He told me that we were his ‘most important customers’, and that our menu choices were ‘the best’. He wouldn’t let go of my hand as he shook it while we were leaving.”
“Did you make a mistake and give him too big of a tip?”
“I thought of that, but he was doing this before he picked up the check.”
“He complemented my hat and oozed praise for Mitra’s decision to go with the vegetarian option that ‘looked like a flower’.”
“He said that my choice of wine was ‘masterful’, Nazy.”
“It was the only Cabernet on the menu, Dan.”
“I know.”
“He told me to make sure to ask for him when we come back.”
“I’ll see if we can find his schedule — so we can return on days he’s away.”
“I think he just blew me a kiss, Nazy.” I replied as I snuck a peek. “He was still bowing.”
We went to a new local seafood restaurant the next night. And, after that, had a cake celebration at Melika’s. We also had time to visit MOXI, the local children’s museum. While, Tiger visited his normal favorites, Kourosh saw a tower constructed from…
“ … I have this very building set at home!” He noted as he grabbed a few blocks.
“Really?” I replied.
“I need to build a tower bigger than ‘that one’,” Kourosh continued. “In Paris I built one so high that I needed a ladder to finish.”
I am happy to report that Kourosh’s tower was not only the tallest on the table when he finished and was also unsurpassed when we left about an hour later.
For last week's letter, please click here
Mitra's Birthday Party