Camels Pyramids The Sphinx and Nihilism on the Nile
We were in Cairo - well, actually in Giza on the outskirts of Cairo - on a tour arranged by the Cairo Dan tourist guide business. Doaa, our somewhat misinformed guide, was expanding our knowledge with information about ancient Egypt:
“And the language was hieroglyphics,” Doaa claimed.
“That was the writing,” I thought, “the language was Egyptian.”
“When Napoleon saw the pyramids, he said that if all the stones were transported to France, he could make a wall 3 meters high around the country.”
“It would have worked better than the Maginot Line,” I replied. (Doaa ignored me.)
The Great Pyramid has stones of 80 tons (granite, transferred from Aswan, 500 miles away). However, most of the stones are limestone brought from across the river. According to Wikipedia, the whole thing includes 5.5 million tons of limestone. (And it’s only one of three large pyramids in Giza.) I’m not sure about the wall around France: I believe that Napoleon said he could build the wall, but he also said he would conquer Russia and beat Wellington at Waterloo.
It was remarkably uncrowded, we could wander around and clamber onto the Great Pyramid. Doaa also wanted to take us to the Panorama viewing point where we could..
“... see all of the pyramids at one time - and I will arrange a camel ride.”
“I wanted horses,” I replied.
“Camels are more Egyptian. I’ll get it for both of you for 300 Pounds.”
“I thought she said 120 pounds,” I whispered to Nazy. (See here)
“120 for each,” Nazy replied.
“120 times 2 is 240, not 300,” I thought.
“And, if you’re happy with the young boy who guides you, don’t forget to give him a nice tip,” Doaa interjected.
“Everyone in Egypt wants a nice tip,” I thought.
After the camel ride, we saw the Sphinx and went on the legislatively mandated excursion to see how they made papyrus, glass-blown perfume bottles and perfume. It was, of course, an opportunity to buy something and a chance for Doaa to rest. The perfumer told us that he grew rare plants in southern Egypt. He collected the flowers, placed them in pottery and buried them under the sand for 12 months before extracting the perfume oils.
“I have the original materials of every perfume,” he claimed. “Just name one, and I’ll show you the real essence.”
Nazy pulled a travel flask of Hermes perfume from her purse; Hasani brought his version.
“They don’t smell the same,” Nazy informed him. “Mine smells good, your’s smells like sweaty feet,” she thought.
“We have the essence used to make the perfume, our oils are natural and ancient.”
“Hmm,” I replied. “How do we get out of here,” I whispered to Nazy when he turned his back.
We eventually extracted ourselves and left to see the Egyptian Museum. I was a bit wary, because Darius, who had been in Cairo a few years earlier, told us that the museum, while wonderful, was also exceptionally crowded. In fact, it wasn’t crowded. And it was spectacular. The statues were huge and in great shape. I thought about Melika’s complaint during our first visit to Rome in 1990:
“Hey Dad! Can we go to a good museum?” she asked.
“We’re in the Vatican Museum, Mel, it is a very good museum.”
“I want to go to a museum where all the statues aren’t broke.”
“I should have brought her to Egypt” I thought. The statues, much, much older than the ones in Rome were in far better shape. (They weren’t missing heads and arms.) We also saw the Tutankhamun exhibit (which was spectacular). Our final stop for the day was the Bazaar. Although the stop was part of the tour, Doaa was not happy about the excursion.
“They will cheat you and they don’t have anything of quality,” she said. “Whatever price they ask, offer about 40%. And stay close to me.”
The Bazaar was not nearly as wonderful as the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul was very uncomfortable. But it seemed like bargains existed. There was a guy selling ‘genuine papyrus paintings’ at three for ten pounds.
“The papyrus store was selling them at one for 100 pounds,” I thought making the mistake of looking at the tout.
“Four for ten pounds,” the entrepreneur called as I turned away. “Five for ten pounds..”
We made our way back to the hotel after tipping Doaa and the driver. We wanted to take it easy the next day, so we arranged a visit to an ‘upscale shopping mall’ that featured “Egyptian items”. While Nazy looked at leather handcrafts, turquoise, and silver rings, I found a place that sold Coke Zero. We remembered to bargain - everywhere. That evening, we took a dinner cruise on the Nile and watched a Belly Dancer..
“An overweight Belly Dancer,” Nazy corrected me.
“She is jiggling,” I replied.
“There is a lot to jiggle, Dan.”
We weren’t quite sure what to do on our last day in Cairo. The hotel suggested an all-day tour of Alexandria (‘because there is nothing much left in Cairo&rsquo
. We demurred. Nazy wanted to go back to the mall (‘because they had some Alexandrite gems that are only available in Egypt&rsquo.Note: Alexandrite has the ability to change colors depending on ambient light. The shopkeeper said that they were uniquely found in Alexandria, Egypt. The Internet says that they are found in the Ural Mountains and are the national gem of Tsarist Russia.
Going back to the mall seemed less than ideal, so Nazy talked to the concierge again. He suggested a “Nile River Cruise”. Although we had ‘done dinner’ on the Nile, that had been at night. Nazy (sigh) tipped the concierge who promised that excursion would be a chance to see islands and wildlife. It was a promise that wasn’t kept. When we were picked up at the hotel, our guide tried to talk us into a longer tour (at a 50%) uplift. When that didn’t work, he suggested a bigger boat. We demurred - aggressively. We eventually arrived at a rusty dock and an equally rusty boat.
Our guide devolved responsibility for our ‘tour’ to a 15 year-old kid (the captain) who didn’t speak English. It took several minutes and several belches of smoke to get the motor started.
“They should have wound the rubber band before we arrived,” I thought.
The captain, miffed that we hadn’t agreed to stop at the banana plantation, guided our craft in lazy circles along the shore. The boat never went fast enough to outrun the flies. Nazy was not amused.
“We should have done..”
“... something else?” I interrupted.
“Anything else, Dan. But you wanted to be on the Nile. You refused to..”
Luckily, our flight would depart soon.