Rainbow Carnivore flushed wagon sharing boys into Condor wings
And Nazy in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s napp.
“Kerchief, Dan?” Nazy interrupts. “I don’t sleep with a kerchief.”
“Yes, but I like my hat.” I replied.
“It’s not a hat, Dan. It’s a cap. And you only wore it because it rhymed with ‘nap’.”
“Napping is one of my core competencies,” I replied.
In fact, however, we don’t have a lot of time for napping. We’re still getting ready for the visit of Darius, Christiane and (the lovely) Leandra. In preparation, I added more fish to my aquarium…
“More fish?” Nazy asked. “Didn’t the last ones die?”
“Nazy…”
“Isn’t adding more fish like moving into a leper colony?”
“Nazy…”
“And, unlike some in the Bible, you’re not able to..”
“Nazy! I am very good with fish. Remember Mexico?”
“That’s not a ‘fish’, Dan.” Nazy pointed out. Accurately.
“A mere detail, my dear.” I replied. “It’s a mammal,” I thought.
In the aquarium, I have replaced filter material, thrown out decorative wood, removed the somewhat porous rock, eliminated all disintegrating plants, vacuumed the gravel and cursed. To no avail. And then..
“It’s that Madagascar Rainbow Fish!” I exclaimed. “He nips the tails of the other fish and then, tailless, they die.” I banished the offending fish in the traditional way (think ‘flush&rsquo
— wishing that I could do the same thing with the singularly offensive ‘president’. While we’re on the subject — I can imagine why some, facing the 2016 election, would choose ‘someone, eh, something ‘different’. But I can’t understand how anyone watching this death spiral of stupidity could still support such a vile individual. The stock market is in free-fall, the tax cut raised the deficit (and left no room for the Democrats to clean up the mess (as always do), healthcareless is useless, we’re strongly supporting Saudi Arabia (funder of ISIS and funder of 9/11), our allies are appalled, our enemies enthralled, half of ‘Team Trump’ has lied about contacts with Russia (by the way, since there was ‘no collusion’, why is it necessary to lie?), half of those are in jail (or will be soon), the ‘Moral’ Majority having abandoned morality, is demanding that Christ be put back in Christmas (I’d be happy if they’d put Christ back in Christian) and..
“Dan!” Nazy interrupts. “If you can’t say something nice, then simply say nothing at all.”
“ .” I replied. “Supporting this ‘president’ is like trying to put tight socks on after you’ve discovered that you started with the heel on top,” I thought. “You should give up and start over.”
I’m reluctant to give this odious and loathsome entity any credit, but getting out of Syria is a good idea. As I told Nazy …
“It’s like a broken clock. It shows the correct time twice a day. Trump decision making is just like a pinball randomly hitting the (widely distributed) neurons and, on occasion, actually triggering a synapse. In this case, pure chance resulted in a correct decision. Now he just has to get us out of Afghanistan, Niger, Yemen, Somalia…”
“Did you just say that Trump did the right thing?”
“Right decision, appalling execution. He did it with the grace and skill of a sumo trapeze performer.”
In the last couple of weeks, Nazy and I have had a lot of time with the Santa Barbara based grandchildren. I took both boys to the Zoo a week or so ago. And..
“… in a major success, Nazy,” I explained. “I got them to agree to ride (together) in a wagon.”
“Wow!”
“It is usually very, very messy. If I take the stroller, they refuse to sit in it once we enter the zoo. Then I have to simultaneously push the stroller and carry the children.”
“Awww…”
“They both agreed to ride. Together. At the same time. Without being carried.” We strolled from exhibit to exhibit — finally reaching the lions at the bottom of a steep slope. Naturally, Arrow refused to ride back. But,to get to the exit, I had to walk past the giraffe and gorilla to the condor at the very top of the ‘steep slope’. And I had to do it while carrying Arrow and pulling Tiger.
“So sad..” Nazy responded ‘sympathetically’ when I explained the situation.
“And, Dan,” Nazy continued. “You didn’t ‘explain’ the situation, you ‘complained’ about the situation.”
“Awww,” I replied. “Same thing,” I thought.
“The Condor has wings 9 feet long, Dan.” Tiger shouted as we topped the hill.
“You must have been here before,” I replied.
“Yes. It is a very big bird, Dan.”
“And you are a very big boy,” I replied.
A helpful display across from the condor exhibit illustrated Tiger’s claim.
We also went to MOXI (the local children’s museum). Tiger likes the car racing exhibit, Arrow prefers the interactive, gurgling water on the roof and the giant pachinko machine on the ground floor.
Darius, Christiane and (the lovely) Leandra have arrived for the holiday. More next week on holiday adventures: think balloons — the hot air variety and think naughty — the Broadway Wicked Variety. Find out if the fish have reacted well to high quality intervention. And, in the interim — have a great New Year.
For last week's letter, please click here
Tom, Tiger and Flipper
Sunset in Santa Barbara