lion King TIGER Rains over Manipulated election Dancer
“There is a 100% chance of ‘heavy rain’ tonight.” Nazy trumpeted - on Halloween night.
“100% chance?” It was very unlike the weather channel to be so specific.
“But it’s Halloween,” I continued. “A million children will be roaming around in costumes attempting to extort candy from unsuspecting neighbors,” I thought. “So,” I said, “It rains once a year and choses the only day that everyone is outside.”
Newsflash: It really rained. And now the reservoirs have moved from 12.1% to 12.3% capacity.
Coincidentally, we’re in the midst of the final stretch of the November election season and, hence, deluged with advertisements. In the Congressional races, incumbents never mention their achievements. (They do this because, well, achievements are rare. And, in the unlikely event that something was accomplished, it undoubtedly made some voter mad.) Challengers, in the rare moments that they are positive, bravely embrace God, Motherhood and Apple Pie. Thus, blame is the primary advertising message. We will see ads blaming Washington politicians, Tea Party radicals, Ebola, Global Warming, the “Global Warming Conspiracy”, North Dakota Fracking, ISIS, European Liberals or, of course, Obama, for the ill-timed downpour. (And, the fact that it failed to replenish groundwater stockpiles.)
In the interim, Melika and Tom have plans for young Tiger’s first Halloween.
“He’s going trick or treating, Dad.” Melika explained.
“In costume?”
“That’s right. He will be a lion cub.”
“Tiger will be a lion? Didn’t you screw that up?”
“It was Tom’s idea.”
“Let me guess, Tom is going to be the Alpha Male.”
“Right and I’m the Alpha female. The dominant lioness.”
“I hope she doesn’t want us to go as a deposed (and former) dominant couple,” I thought. “You can go as bananas,” Melika continued.
“Been there, done that.” I replied.
The Lion King (+Tiger) Family
Before I began thinking of Halloween, I received an interesting call from the car dealer.
“… and your car telephoned us to report a problem.”
“My car called?” I replied. “Now I understand the outrageous AT&T bills,” I thought.
“Yes. Your car says it needs new rear brake pads.”
“Really?” “How much will that cost?” I thought.
“It’s free. It’s covered under warranty.”
“Wow. Thanks! Let’s schedule the repair.” I replied. “What is the catch?” I thought.
Interestingly, the car had been in for the annual service a few weeks earlier. It did not occur to me to ask why they hadn’t discovered this problem during that inspection. But, while my car was being repaired, the technicians found..
“… a tread wear problem. We can replace the tires and do the alignment - but that will cost…”
“I will think about it!” I interrupted. “The lease on this car expires in six weeks,” I thought.
I was more than skeptical. Nazy’s brother, Shahriar, has the same kind of car as ours. When his car was two months from lease expiration, they told him that he a tread wear problems and offered to solve it with the lease of a new car. Therefore, I wasn’t surprised when a car salesman called me with an offer. Nazy and I drove to the dealership to check things out.
“This is a great deal,” the salesman claimed. “This car, a 2014 model, has everything.”
“That car is exactly the same as the car we have now.” I replied. Bored.
“No. This car is new. Your car is old.”
“The cars are identical. They are the same color. They have the same options. I thought it would be fun to find something different.” “This is a great buy. You get a significant discount because the car is a 2014 model.”
“Can we look at this smaller, but still new, car? It’s a 2014, and I like the color.”
“There is no discount on that one.”
“Why not?”
“It’s a popular model.”
“So you’re trying to sell me an unpopular model?” I felt manipulated. “Manipulated at a car dealership?, I thought, “I’m shocked. shocked!!”
This week, I’ve also been talking with Mitra and Stefan about Oxygen Tango - the world’s premier Tango School and about their forthcoming…
“… babysitting day, Dad. Stefan and I will be responsible for Jamshid Saturday evening.”
“I assume you plan on teaching him to Tango.” I replied.
“Well, you’re teaching him to swim.”
“Babies, Mitra, are buoyant in the water. They are not light on their feet.”
“This baby likes rhythm, Dad.”
“He also weighs more than the cat. And if he hasn’t learned to walk yet..”
“We like challenges, Dad.”
“I know,” I replied. “Spoken like someone who owns a Tango School,” I thought.
“How does he like swimming classes, Dad?”
“He loves them,” I replied. “He’s got a great teacher,” I thought.
“When you were teaching me to swim, you shoved me under water, Dad.”
“It was part of the…”
“You should have consulted me…”
“You were only 4 months old.”
“It was traumatic.”
LAST WEEK’s ISSUE
Tiger Dancing Tango