Candle-lit, body-painted turniped boars
I trust that you are well and happy. For us, the week has been filled with exciting anticipation.
“The turnip festival?” I asked.
“Yes. In Richterswil.”
“Can this possibly match the excitement of Bern’s Onion Exhibit?” I thought.
“There will be a huge parade.” Nazy continued, unable, for once, to read my thoughts.
“Surely it can’t compare the St. Gallen Sausage Soirée!” I replied.
“27,000 carved turnips will be used to construct candle-lit displays, Dan.”
“How do they do that?”
“They invented a machine to hollow out the turnips so that candles can be inserted..”
“Like a Jack-O-Lantern?”
“Precisely. And then the kids march through the town carrying...”
“I know. And you can buy candled turnips hanging from a stick on a string, Right?”
“How did you know that?”
“We went to Richerswil for this festival a few years ago. It was raining.”
“Yes, but..”
“In fact, as I recall, it was pouring. And it was cold. My Driza-Bone® raincoat was overwhelmed. The rain dampened, well, extinguished the candles.”
“We won’t go if it rains.”
“Hmm...” I replied. “Anything else exciting on the horizon?”
“Today is November 11. We can go to the 11/11 celebrations in Zurich.”
“Armistice Day. Right?”
“I think so.”
“World War I ended on November 11 at 11:11AM.”
“And this is 2011. They’ll celebrate on 11/11/11 at 11:11.”
“But Switzerland wasn’t involved in World War I. Why do they..”
I decided to check the Internet. Although 11/11 is not an official Swiss holiday, it does mark the traditional “start of carnival”. Since carnival occurs in Spring, Armistice Day is principally an excuse for various groups, usually bands, to parade through the town in silly costumes. There are a lot of people who like dressing up in silly costumes.
Body-paint was this year’s theme. I was reminded of Melika’s plans for her Halloween party in California:
“The theme, Dad, was Smurfs. I was Smurfette.”
“Typecasting?”
“And I arranged the costumes for our group. I got the body paint. It was going to be great. But..”
“But?”
“It was the worst body paint I’ve ever seen.”
“Really?” I replied. I was thinking of my only experience in the body paint arena: Shirley Eaton in James Bond’s Goldfinger.
“It smudged. It dripped. It congealed into unsightly blobs. It was a disaster.”
“And it was your idea?”
“Well. I gave up and I didn’t use it. But all my friends plowed ahead.”
“Perhaps you should purchase some Swiss-Quality paint while you’re here for Christmas.”
The various groups and bands in the 11/11 celebration in Zurich often work together. The ancient guilds (blacksmith, fishmonger) have a role, but Switzerland is a modern country and Zürich, home to the error-prone UBS bank, is especially renowned for Financial Services. Accordingly, investment bankers, hiding from the Occupy Paradeplatz demonstrators, had collectively congealed, like mud in a sewer, into their own marching group.
“Look at that Nazy! A bunch of wild pigs. I bet they’re bankers.”
“They are not bankers and they’re not pigs, Dan. They are wild boars.”
“Bores?”
“Boars!”
“That’s what I said. Wild Bores: posing outside an x-rated movie theatre. They probably didn’t get the memo.”
“Memo?”
“A few years ago, to control spending in ‘The City’, Deutsche Bank decreed that it would no longer reimburse employees taking customers on visits to strip clubs.”
“What?”
“It was their first austerity step. It placed the bank in a significantly uncompetitive situation.”
Note: I did not make that up; It really happened and it did impact Deutsche in the City of London.
The Friday weather was remarkably good. (It wasn’t raining.) Accordingly, Nazy was looking forward...
“Nazy? Only Nazy?” Nazy interrupted.
.... Eh, Accordingly, Nazy and I were looking “so forward” to the turnip parade. Anxious to arrive in time for the festivities, I checked the Internet for the schedule of events.
“The parade starts at 18:30,” I noted. Since daylight savings time (called summer time here), has ended it gets dark very early.
“We’re driving, so we should leave around..”
“But,” I continued. “The parade is tomorrow. Not today.”
“We’re going out to dinner tomorrow with Bunzi and Heinz.”
“I know. We can’t go,” I replied sorrowfully.
“Oh no!” Nazy was crushed.
“I know,” I replied - squeezed but not completely crushed. Our plans were turniped upside down.