16 third street ices Hi-tech mousetrap
“I had to scrape frost off the windshield,” Doug claimed.
“And you actually had an ice-scrapper? I’m astonished.”
“Well, in fact, I used a well-placed spray of washer fluid.”
I am certain that those readers who live in places where seasons exist are ho-humming. It is true that the locals are not snow-prepared. Another friend said:
“And then I moved to Boston. I had never seen snow, so when six inches of the stuff landed on the driveway, I thought it would be a good idea to just hose it off.”
“Hose it off! That’s...”
“... not a good idea.”
Aside: Snow in Lebanon; Syrian refugees need help. (You can contribute at the AUB site by clicking here. Choose Center for Civic Engagement and Community Service - Syrian Refugees under “I would like to designate my gift”. )
This week Nazy and I went to the Santa Barbara Newcomers Club’s annual Holiday Ball.
“The decorations are beautiful!” I exclaimed - aware (as any prepared husband would be) that Nazy was on the decoration committee.
“Thanks, Dan,” Nazy replied.
“I’m so happy you volunteer for these things.” I continued.
“Thanks again. Did you know that you’re on the cleanup committee?”
“Hmm, I don’t recall volunteering.”
“You didn’t.”
“Well then...”
“The husbands of the women who volunteered to be on the decoration committee are on the cleanup committee.”
“But I didn’t volunteer.”
“I did it for you. Because I knew you’d want to help.”
“Of course,” I replied. Helplessly.
On a different subject when we returned Melika’s cat (the Simba-sized feline named Monster), the family of frightened mice rejoiced. As you might imagine, this did not make Nazy especially happy. But it did bring memories of my days at Georgia Tech.
Flashback, Georgia Tech
Early 1970’s
There was a mouse problem at 16 Third Street (“The elite address in Atlanta.&rdquo
An engineering approach combined with scientific experimentation was deemed to be the appropriate response. to record progress, we set up a camera in the kitchen that would be triggered when infrared beams were crossed by plundering mice. Three different approaches were tested:
- The traditional mouse trap. The result: The mouse deftly sprung the trap and departed (leisurely) with the proffered cheese.
- The Hi-Tech solution: A piece of cheese was placed on a electrical mat wired to a capacitor bank that could generate 1,000,000 Volts (or something like that). The capacitor discharged when the mouse crossed the infrared beam. The result: The electrical release threw the mouse (and the cheese) several meters clear: mouse departed with the proffered cheese.
- The biological warfare solution: We began leaving ‘mouse tempting treats’ in the dog food dish).The result: The dog (named Damnit). broke the recording device and several dishes... but... mouse body parts found around the kitchen provided circumstantial evidence of a mouse demise.
End Flashback
“What should we do, about the mouse, Dan?” Nazy asked.
Our lease precluded the biological option. Since I was back in America, I immediately thought about a gun. In the end I recommended a trap.
“These animals are very clever, Dan. You couldn’t out-smart the squirrel that was stealing food from the bird feeder.”
“That’s irrelevant, my dear. And, if you recall, when I mounted the bird feeder on a pole in the backyard, the squirrels were rendered impotent.”
“That’s only because your contraption attracted a black bear.”
“A thistle-eating black bear at that,” I thought. “But, I agree that the mouse will not be caught with a simple mouse trap. We need something more..”
“... that’s why I bought these Hi-Tech devices,” Nazy replied showing me a snazzy contraption. “It generates a subsonic blast that scares the mice away...”
“... and they have a nice blinking blue light.” I replied. “HiTech solution?” I thought. “Won’t work.”
It didn’t work. The mouse gnawed an apple that was less than 18 inches from the ‘scary’ device. Now Nazy is looking for ...
“... a better mousetrap? Isn’t that a cliche?” I asked.
“What...”
“And they’ve already invented sliced bread,” I continued. “We need a cat. But Melika won’t let us have hers.”
“We can’t get a cat, Dan. The lease...”
“Well, we’ll just have to live with the mouse. Or maybe if we put food outside.”
We’re still working on mouse-eradication. On another subject: It’s not often that I complement repairmen, but I have to take my hat off to one who helped here in Santa Barbara..
“The broiler doesn’t work,” Nazy explained.
My careful, precise and conscientious examination confirmed Nazy’s assertion. The oven worked.. until the broiler was selected. Then it turned itself off. I confirmed this activity on 19 different occasions over a span of 4 days. I proved that the broiler failed in startup mode and verified that if I started the oven in ‘warm’, the heat went off when I increased the temperature to broil. I did every validation imaginable before calling the repair shop.
The repair man arrived and ...
“... what’s your problem?” he asked - when I was unable to make the oven fail in his presence.
“You are very good at your job,” I replied. “You fix the problem by simply knocking at our door.”
“You never had a problem,” the repair man thought.
“Thank you.” I babbled.
“Any time,” The repair man replied. “You’re just a clueless nitwit,” he thought.
“Maybe you turned on the broiler while the gas fireplace was working,” Nazy interjected.
“Actually, Nazy, I think the Moon was in Sagittarius and seismic shocks from offshore fracking caused a partially anomalous response.”
16 Third Street
Photo in The Technique, Georgia Tech Student Newspaper
Article
(I knew it was blue, not that it was pink)