party line iPhone Bings flawed outlook account
“… clever joke, Dan.”
Au contraire! We really did get Shingles vaccinations.
This week has been marked by technical challenge. It started with the iPhone. It seems like..
“… Siri, newly conscious as result of an overnight operating system upgrade, assumed control of both of our iPhones,” I said to Nazy as we were driving to the market.
“What?”
“I got in the car and Siri told me it was 8 minutes to Cota Street.”
“So?”
“I didn't ask her. The market is on Cota Street. We drive there every Saturday. I think that Siri has been spying on us.”
“It began when you chose the Australian accent version for her, Dan.”
And that was just the beginning. Shortly thereafter the iPhone, realizing that Nazy and I have the same Apple ID, decided that all calls to me should also ring Nazy’s phone. I called my ATT and was assured that my ‘call is important’ while I waited. (And waited.)
I attempted to explain my problem. “I don’t want a party-line telephone,” I began.
“Of course not, sir. You are a senior citizen.” The clerk replied. “You want a sober telephone.”
“I want a telephone, I don’t want to share my number with someone else.” I replied. “He doesn’t know what a party line is,” I thought remembering that three of our neighbors shared the same phone number while I was growing up in Savannah. (The local Bell company had shortages and couldn’t supply ‘private’ lines.)
However, eventually: “And that will fix the problem.” He claimed.
“But why do I have to adjust the accessibility options to make the telephone operate like a telephone?” I thought.He even called my telephone to allow me to confirm that Nazy’s phone didn’t ring simultaneously. The problem, of course, returned the next day:
“G’day mate!” Siri exclaimed when Nazy answered one of my business calls. Nazy and I, giving up, decided to go walkabout. (I decided to drop Siri on the barbie.)
When I returned, Microsoft, noting that I had been thinking about Apple, wanted to get even. Their Outlook email on the Mac began to ‘hang’ and then stopped handling business email altogether. I rebuilt the database, reset the preferences, eliminated and reconstructed the identities, removed and restored all accounts. (Except for the business account; that wouldn’t work at all.) In the end, I decided to reinstall Outlook. Unfortunately, the version I had was no longer down loadable. I decided to buy a new version. It wasn't easy. Microsoft wouldn’t let me buy it unless I also had a Microsoft account, a problem that it solved by
“It’s using Nazy’s account,” I thought. “Siri has infiltrated Microsoft.”
I stopped everything, set up my own account and made the purchase. Eventually. Microsoft was obvious; it continued to license things to Nazy.
I tried to install the downloaded product. It didn’t work. I called the helpless desk. Of course, I heard that my “call is important” while I waited. (And waited.) Eventually I was able to ‘activate’ Outlook. Unfortunately, that did not work without the purchase of a new version of Microsoft Office. The whole thing was appalling. It is apparently impossible to simply download, install and use a product without an account, an activation and ancillary software. Customers also must be willing to part with their right index finger. (I kept the middle one for other uses.)
Veracity note: I did finally get in touch with someone from Microsoft. Unfortunately, the call took even longer than the wait. Eventually, giving up, I hung up on myself (while I was talking).
So, flummoxed by Apple and Microsoft, I wasn't sanguine about the challenges associated with the Samsung sound system.
“The subwoofer isn’t ‘woofing’, Nazy.” I explained.
“You mean that big black box hiding in the far corner?”
“That’s right. It stopped working. I’m not sure..”
“The baby was playing with the remote. Maybe he …”
“You let the child handle a complex piece of equipment like that?” I questioned.
I located the instruction manual, found the ‘English’ section (hidden between ‘Ekoti - Bantu and Estonian). Naturally, it contained no information about setting up the bluetooth link. But a quick query on Bing illuminated a page that showed me how to undo Tiger’s handiwork.
In sum, I lost to Apple and Microsoft, but won with Samsung. (I should also give an ‘assist’ to Microsoft; Bing is their search engine.)
The whole thing wore me and Tiger out.
Now I just have to deal with a 1¢ bill from a local department store (something to do with roundoff error) and figuring out what to do with the baby bird that has appeared on the driveway. (BTW: If you know what that bird is, please drop me a note: dandotmartin@gmail.com.
For last week's letter click here.
Mission Photo
Tiger at The Mission