Dragon swords and Cello Guns In Lenzberg Castle
15-09-12 08:37 Humor,Switzerland
As ever, Nazy and I are enjoying our lives and each other. A few questions arose from last week’s letter. One reader asked if we had a photograph of Melika and her Malagutti motor scooter. We do not. We do, however, have a photograph of Nazy on Melika’s motor scooter.
Additionally,
Last weekend we drove to Chur, an old Swiss city in the Alps...
“Dan!” Nazy interrupts. “Aren’t all Swiss cities old?”
“Yes, but the Alps are older.”
Chur is the capital of Canton Graubünden. The city rated one st*r in the guide book. Aware that it was nestled in the mountains, Nazy and I were looking forward to the visit.
[When we first got a car, pre-navigation computer, and I was looking for the way home, I was told to follow the signs to Chur. The signs took me right past our residence and onto an ‘under construction’ motorway. Now, 12 years later, I can report that the motorway is still under construction.”]
In preparation for our visit, Chur named their main church “St. Martin’s”.
“Wasn’t that nice?” Nazy asked.
“Sort of nice, dear. The Cathedral is much bigger and much older, so..”
“So because you’re older, you want..”
“The church was a great choice, Nazy.” I concluded.
We had lunch and enjoyed a stroll through the town during a beautiful, sunny Saturday. (It was a bit rural, see road sign.)
This week, Nazy had arranged for us to visit Medieval Festival and Market at the Lenzberg Castle. It was a ZIWA (Zurich International Women’s Association) excursion. Which meant..
“Am I going to be the only woman on the trip?” I asked as we nibbled on a bagel (Nazy) and muffin (Dan) while sipping coffee (Nazy) and Coke Zero (Dan). Nazy was about to answer when a white haired stranger invaded ‘our’ space.
“They ought to neuter them all!” He exclaimed as he pointed to a picture of Egyptians attacking the US embassy.”
“What?” I asked - cogently, but inarticulately.
“I have diamond business in Geneva,” this guy continued. “I’m here to close a $1 Billion dollar deal. 122,000 carets. The biggest diamond is 150 carets. I’m meeting a buyer at the airport. As soon as this deal is done - my commission is $35 Million - I’ll retire.”
“150 Carets?” Nazy asked.
“But I know what to do with those people,” he continued as he shook his newspaper. “I worked for the CIA in Venezuela....”
“That turned out well,” I thought.
“ ... and I play the cello.”
“I think there was a James Bond movie with a cello..” I began.
“James Bond? a wimp compared to me. I only have two photographs of myself. One with my cello and one with my machine gun.”
“You need another one,” I thought. “With your nutcase.”
“They’re calling our train, Dan.” Nazy said.
“Good luck with the cello and diamonds.” I said. “And don’t take your machine gun to the airport.”
“He had an American accent,” Nazy whispered as we escaped.
“Dat is vhy I am speaking vis a Germanic accent, Mon Ami.”
The train journey to Lenzberg was short and quick. The castle has been in place for at least 1000 years. It overlooks the Aare River and, during the middle ages was used to control commerce along the river. In the late 18th century, it became a residential castle. The last owner was an American business magnate. Our group (30 women and me) had scheduled this visit to coincide with the medieval market.
“Be sure to watch the clowns and jugglers,” our guide said before turning us loose on our own.
The jugglers were very good. We also watched calligraphers, blacksmiths, stone masons, leatherworkers, singers, dancers and a guy with
“An American Hawk..”
“Bush Administration?” I asked.
“No, this one is trained.” he replied. “I also have a European Falcon.”
There was a show as the birds (one reluctantly) demonstrated their prowess. Nazy asked what would happen if the birds refused to fly back...
“Then I wait.”
“How long?”
“Once it took three days. These birds are like children.”
“My children never ran away from home for three days,” Nazy thought.
The day, which began rather foggy, soon cleared. Nazy and I toured the castle which was in remarkably good shape. They had decorated each floor to represent different eras: Middle Ages, Baroque and 18,19th Century. Like all castles, this one has a legend - something to do with a dragon: hence the dragon at the top of the castle.
We looked at the exhibition of old swords. Nazy saw one that was about 2 meters long and..
“... weighs 16 kilos,” the guide explained. “It’s a two hand weapon.”
“I wonder why?” I thought.
“How can the knights control their horses if they need two hands for the sword?” Nazy asked.
“No horses with this sword,” the guide said.
“You could pole vault with that thing,” I thought.
For more photos from our visit, click here.
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