flawed Homeland tangled wires In beirut
Although we enjoyed Turkey (in spite of the TAKSi drivers), we were really basically en route to Beirut.(We wanted to see Darius.) Some people (carefully and subtly) questioned the wisdom of our trip:
“Are you insane?” Melika asked. “Is Mom making you do this?”
As skilled and experienced international travelers, we ignored all advice: we prefer to learn by experience. (Experience, however, is a harsh teacher. You take the test first and get the lesson afterwards.)
We had a smooth flight to Beirut, but our arrival coincided with the end of the Haj. A zillion pilgrims were returning from Mecca; the airport was crowded. In preparation, the Lebanese government placed all competent immigration officers on leave. Faithfully applying Murphy’s Law, I..
“... chose the wrong line,” Nazy said. “Never get in a line with a woman immigration agent.”
“That’s a sexist...”
“The women are meticulous and thorough.” Nazy interrupted.
“ .... but accurate appraisal,” I concluded as a I watched the other lines move quickly through the process. “At least” I continued, “we won’t have to wait for our luggage.”
Darius, waiting in the crowded arrival hall, had a surprise: he rented a car for the week we would be in Lebanon. Well aware of Beirut traffic and Lebanese ethos (there are no rules) I was concerned:
“Are you sure that you can, eh, get us into the city safely?”
“Of course, Dad.”
“But the traffic and the..”
“You can’t get hurt in the Beirut traffic because you’re never moving very fast.”
“But..”
“And you don’t have to look for things like signs, speed limits or traffic lights. You can just concentrate on the..”
“Motorcycles, pedestrians...”
“Don’t worry, Dad.”
Darius transported us safely to his apartment - provided you exclude ‘fright’ from your definition of safely. At dinner, the true crisis in Lebanon was uncovered: there was no Coke Zero, only Diet Pepsi - which because there is no ‘P’ in Arabic is called Bebsi. Darius deftly sidestepped this massive cultural shortcoming with a lesson on cultural sensitivity.
“Have you seen the US TV program called Homeland, Dad?”
“I’ve heard of it.”
“They had an episode that took place in Beirut.”
“Good publicity, eh?”
“The scene was filmed in Haifa...”
“Israel?”
“The shop signs were all in Hebrew, the women were all wearing chadors and a woman was kidnapped in the background of one scene. And, get this, it supposedly took place on Hamra Street in Beirut.”
“But you live on Hamra Street in Beirut. I’ve never seen chadors or Hebrew signs..”
“Of course not, Dad.”
“And who would be stupid enough to kidnap someone by shoving them into a car on Hamra Street? With the traffic, it’d take 40 minutes to get to an intersection.”
“Dad. The Lebanese are incensed. They don’t like Israel.”
“Really?”
“Israel invaded several times. They’ve bombed. They’ve shelled. In any case, Lebanese TV is going to start a series that takes place in America..”
“That will be good for relations..”
“ ... and they’re going to film it in Iran.”
We stayed at Darius’ apartment which is well located and neat. Nazy immediately turned on ‘Mother Mode’:
“Where’s your vacuum cleaner?” She asked.
“Is it missing?” Darius replied. “I don’t use it..”
“Surprise!” I thought.
“ .. I have a maid that comes once a week.”
“Really?” Nazy thought. “What does she do when she comes?” Nazy asked.
The next day, while Nazy and I purchased cleaning supplies at various shops on Hamra Street, Darius confronted the agent who had found his maid.
“I don’t want her to come. She doesn’t clean anything!”
“I vill kill her!” Nohaad replied.
“Um, that’s..”
“No one else complains.”
Prudently, Darius decided to..
“... ask Mom to talk to the maid. Is that a good idea, Dad?”
In the time that Darius has been in Lebanon, there have been infrastructure improvements. Internet access, for example, is now fast and reliable. Electricity is a different matter. In Beirut, power is shut off 3 hours every day. It has been that way for years. Seeing an opportunity, Lebanese business in private generators is booming. Physical installation of things like wires, junction boxes, circuit breakers, fuses follows a pragmatic process.
While Darius wrapped up his teaching and submitted a research paper, Nazy and I toured downtown Beirut.
As we toured the city, we were amazed by the number of people that Darius met and knew. We had coffee with his neighbors (‘we love our Darios&rsquo
, met friends in the streets, at the shops, in the museums. Darius has the exact right personality and approach for living in Lebanon. He doesn’t worry when thingsBoom! Boom! Boom!
“I thought it was a bomb, Dar!” I exclaimed.
“Don’t be absurd, Dad.” Darius replied. “Even if it was, it wasn’t on our block.”
On the weekend, we decided to visit the ancient cities of Sidon and Tyre. More about that next week. In the meantime, you can see photos from Lebanon by clicking here. In the interim, here’s a photo of Nazy and Darius on the campus of The American University of Beirut.
