Green Geraniums offered grandest refuge in Death Valley
“... the flowers, Dan!” Nazy exclaimed. “everything blooms year round.”
“Not everything, Nazy,” I replied. “My geraniums refused to bloom. When I bought them, they were little and tender. I planted in premium quality dirt, maintained a regular watering schedule, and adjusted appropriately for the current dry and warm conditions. When aphids began to nibble, I plucked them out one at a time..”
“No you didn’t.”
“ ... before resorting to an environmentally friendly (but functionally useless) bug spray and then to insecticide mixed from repurposed Syrian chemical weapons.”
“Dan, you’re exaggerating.”
“I was disgusted and dismayed. I was disappointed and discombobulated. I was miffed and pis..”
“Dan!”
“No matter what I did, the geraniums refused to bloom. They grew big and (pointlessly) green. But nobody who buys flowers wants to see green.”
“The foliage looked great!”
“Right: if I wanted to recreate a jungle. There were; No. Flowers. I consulted reference materials and boosted the phosphorous content of the fertilizer. It didn’t work. The geraniums looked like a totally green recreation of the set from Avatar. So..”
“You decided on violence.”
“No, no, no. I’m not the government. And my geraniums were not violent. They were just under-performing foliage. I decided to move them.”
“Now our geraniums are refugees.”
“I dug them out of the luxuriant topsoil and moved them to an isolated, rocky outcrop. I bent my garden trowel in the process and couldn’t dig deeply for healthy root growth. The sun conditions were suboptimal. I cut off fertilization and stopped watering. It was tough love, but the geraniums deserved what was happening to them. I replaced them with alyssum and lavender.”
“I notice that the geraniums are blooming in the new location.” Nazy asserted.
“They are doing it to spite me,” I replied. “I wonder if you are watering and feeding them,” I thought.
Of course it wouldn’t be a weekly letter if we didn’t mention the latest achievements of the grand(est)son ever. Nazy was especially excited.
“He has found his feet.”
“Where had he been hiding them?” I asked.
“And he loves to hold his toes.”
“He won’t be able to walk like that.”
“He coos and gurgles.”
“That is impressive! That’s exactly what my last HP boss could do.” I replied. “Except that he babbled and growled,” I thought.
“He can turn over!” Melika interjected.
“We call that waffling in politics.” I explained. In truth, however, I am smitten. Our grand(est)son is a wonderful addition. Nazy and I are very happy that we are here and able to be an important part of his life. We’re also lucky that Mitra and Stefan are close by as well. In fact, they came up to see us last weekend.
“To see you, Dad.” Mitra explained. “And, of course, see young Tiger at the same time.”
Mitra and Stefan have conclusively shown that the grand(est)son likes rhythm and music. In fact, when he turned over, he was listening to a Tango recording.
Meanwhile, in Lebanon, Darius asked about the USA policy on ISIS (or ISIL or IS). Naturally, I was ready to explain.
“Eh..”
“Let me make it simpler, Dad. Who gains if we ‘degrade and destroy’ ISIS?”
“Bashar Assad and Iran.”
“Isn’t that rather, eh, wrong?”
“I would never criticize our government in the midst of ...”
“And we’re going to win without any ‘boots on the ground’?”
“There will be boots on the ground. They just won’t be our boots. We’re going to train..”
“Train? Didn’t we spend $500B to train the Iraqi Army that vanished at their first battle?”
“There may be some rough edges with the strategy,” I replied. “We spent an equivalent amount in Vietnam - with the Vietnamization program that also didn’t work,” I thought.
“Do you think it’s going to work, Dad?”
“Of course not. Nobody thinks it’s going to work, Darius. They’re only doing it because ‘we have to do something’. Moreover, Congress, a bunch of sniveling cowards, refuses to vote, or even debate the subject because ‘it’s an election year’. This bombing, like overuse of antibiotics,simply creates more and stronger adversaries.”
“We agree, Dad.”
And finally, I celebrate my birthday this weekend. In the past, Nazy and I have gone to exotic places like South Africa, Malaysia, Ribeauville and Cracow. But now we live in an exotic and beautiful place. Nazy wanted something special - a beautiful historic site - and relatively nearby. She asked for my advice.
Dan in Ribeauville France Birthday Trip
“How about Death Valley?” It’s unusual and it keeps with tradition.
“What?”
“We went to the Dead Sea in Jordan one year.”
“Dead on, Dan,” Nazy replied. “Let’s plan on it.”
In fact, we went to Palm Springs. It seemed a bit more lively.