Happy New Year! I hope that the coming year brings you perfect health, unparalleled happiness and awe-inspiring prosperity. Here, we’re in the midst of a radiant and spectacular family holiday celebration. Mitra arrived first and then..

“A miracle, Nazy!” I exclaimed. “For the first time ever, two of our progeny will arrive on the very same day. Melika and Darius are both coming on Friday.”

“What times?”

“That’s the amazing part. Darius arrives at 9:45 from Istanbul; Melika comes at 10:00 from..”

“She said that she was coming from London.”

“London? She’s coming from Los Angeles.”

“Via London.”

“Then it will be impossible for her to make it by 10:00 AM.... Eh, let’s check the flight details.”

A retrospective look at the arrival schedule demonstrated the advantage of a 24 hour clock. While Darius arrived at 9:45, Melika’s flight landed at 22:00. And..

“Because we need two separate trips to the airport, I will ‘de-miracle’ the event. At best, it was a bungled parlor trick.” I explained. “Furthermore, I will record the event in the Official Archives of The Martin Family as an ‘unintended coincidence.” Accordingly, a restart:

“An unintended coincidence, Nazy!” I exclaimed. “Darius and Melika will arrive on the same day: Darius on the first flight, Melika on the last.”

“That is an exaggeration, Dan.” Nazy replied.

“A mere factual discrepancy, my dear.”

As the arrival merry-go-round ended, we settled in to enjoy family time. Nazy had planned a series of special meals (e.g. Traditional Turkey on Christmas Eve, Corden Bleu Ham Curry on Christmas Day) and desserts (e.g. sugar cookies).

The festive snow that graced Mitra’s arrival melted in the rain, but the rain quickly gave way to bright sunny days. Having acclimated to Switzerland, we took full advantage by scheduling a hike to..

“... the Turm, Dan!” Nazy exclaimed.

“Turm?”

“The Tower. It’s a short..”

“...long.” I interrupted.

“.... easy...”

“ ... steep”

“.... stroll...”

“Hike.” I kept interrupting because I was thinking of my injured toe. (see here.)

“For the elderly, like you, Dan,” Nazy noted, “we will go slowly.”

The hike was planned to begin at noon. We met the expected departure time of 3:00(15:00). The Martin Family attacked the nearby hills and strolled, eh, hiked, into the forest. We arrived at the tower in good spirits, but I was quickly arrayed against a fierce coalition.

“We want to climb right to the top,” Nazy declared. “Just like the Master Builder.”

“The Master Builder fell to his death,” I replied. “And, like him, I’m not completely comfortable with heights,” I thought.

Luckily, I was outvoted and the view of the Alps from the top was great. We took advantage of the visit to take a family portrait. (If it weren’t for the fact that I was sporting my Rudolf nose, this would have been the official 2011 family photo.)

We ‘planned’ another outing on Boxing Day (December 26). Before we left, however, Mitra wanted to know..

“I have a full day of work, Dad. I need to complete five email campaigns so that Oxygen Tango will have a great kickoff in 2012. In order to pick the best time to work, I need to know the plans for today and tomorrow.”

“Hmm. So you’ll stay home and work during our ‘boring excursion’?”

“Well..”

“We thought we’d go to Gruyere today and sledding in the Alps tomorrow.”

“When are you leaving today?”

“We plan to leave around noon. It takes about an hour to get to Gruyere.”

“It’s 11:55 and Melika is still asleep,” Mitra thought. “I think I’ll work today.”

We left at 2:25 (14:25). Wondering whether we’d make it before dark, I asked Darius to program Claudia the navigation computer. She informed us of a 105 kilometer journey but: “Attention! There is stationary traffic on your route. Expect a 45 minute delay.”

Quick, Nazy suggested a closer alternative - Bern. (103 km with stationary traffic.)

“If it’s stationary,” I thought. “then it’s not traffic.” Nazy suggested Biel (101 km/traffic problems). She found a ‘must see’ Alpine location: Weissenstein. Claudia had no clue, so we turned to Darius, the family’s “Mr. Map.” He found a traffic-free path of only 35 kilometers. And..

“There is a wonderful panorama vista of the mountains along the rustic drive to the peak.” Darius noted - reading from the tourist guide book.

“If it’s so wonderful,” I thought. “why haven’t I heard about it in the 12 years I’ve lived here?”

The rustic road was closed by snow so we stopped for coffee in Moutier. Back home, I told Mitra what she had missed:

“A world record fondue, Mitra. They had a swimming pool filled with melted Gruyere cheese, robdingnagian loafs of bread were hoisted on pitchforks by giants named Goliath. The crown prince of Zamboristan was honorary host and Guinness representatives were everywhere. I won a trip to the International Tango festival in Argentina, Nazy, interviewed on Swiss TV got a contract to do a weekly shopping program, Darius met a BBC Travel executive who wants to negotiate a book deal and Melika will be able to fly back to Los Angeles on a Gulfstream VI.”

“What’s a Gulfstream, Dad?”

The highlight of our trip to Moutier: