A fistful of scooters bully william in a Sieve
Fall is (almost) upon us and, while it’s not as spectacular as in New England, it is...
“... a beautiful time of year marred by partisan strife in..”
“Syria?” Nazy asked.
“No, in..”
“Lebanon?”
“.. in the aquarium. Heloise has been picking on Abelard.”
“I thought you named those angelfish William and Kate.”
“In that case, Kate is picking on William. He’s shaking and quivering at the bottom of the tank.”
“It would be good, Dan, if he would act like a man.”
“He is a fish, my dear.”
“So?”
“William is hen-pecked...”
“I thought you said: ‘He is a fish’,” Nazy retorted.
“ ... and Kate is in the doghouse.”
“Birds of a feather..” Nazy thought.
A comprehensive search of the Internet was unhelpful. “Angelfish will pick on each other and other fish. Ask your supplier for advice before acquiring..” Nazy was very upset about the state of affairs when I related the concluding suggestion from the web: “Dispose of the bullyer or dispose of the bullyee.”
“‘Bullyee’ not a word,” Nazy noted. “You didn’t find that on the web.” Unfazed, I continued.
“So? Who goes? William - a shrunken hulk, or Kate - a majestic bully?”
Nazy wouldn’t allow either to be ceremoniously flushed because:
“The toilet police will fine us for introducing exotic fauna into the sewer system. A friend deposited grass clippings in the forest She was fined 500 Francs. Let’s build a shelter for William - in the aquarium.”
“A shelter?”
“Get the sieve and the shish kabob skewers.”
“Yes dear,” I replied. “As soon as I close the curtains.” I didn’t want the neighbors to see this exercise in futility. Naturally, it was left to me to construct the device that Nazy had imagined.
“Unfortunately, Nazy, your imagination didn’t include water current, torsional stress, instability caused by inadequate foundations and..”
“Why is it wobbling?”
In the end I balanced the sieve on an inverted flower vase. (It was my idea.) Now William is able to eat without being chased. I’m not certain that he’ll recover, but Nazy is enthusiastic.
Nazy is often enthusiastic. When (Google) chatting with Darius, she reminded him to pick up his diploma.
“Why didn’t he get it when he finished his Ph.D.?” I asked.
“He handed in his thesis 3 minutes before the deadline - leaving him just about enough time to get to the airport and fly to Lebanon.”
“Hmm..”
“I want to frame the diploma for him.”
“Hmm..” I replied. “Don’t set it on fire.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My Mom wanted to frame my diploma which was stored at the family home on Arundel Road.”
“So..”
“It was rolled up, and when unrolled, it became crinkly and wouldn’t stay flat. So..”
“Yes?”
“She ironed it. But the sheepskin..”
“Caught on fire?”
“Precisely. She put the ashes in a pillbox and gave them to me (much later). She called Tech, got a duplicate (inclusive ‘do not roll&rsquo
. She framed that one. She told me about the conflagration several years later - when she handed me the original ashes. So be careful..”“I will.”
“Remember that Darius also graduated from the Oxygen Tango Challenge during the summer. I wonder if he got a diploma..”
“He got blue Tango shoes.”
“Probably don’t want to frame those.”
Some readers of imly Lit candidates and Persian exhibit in zug">last week’s letter weren’t quite sure what a chrome-plated Vespa would look like. (A Vespa image is posted on the right.)
One particularly ill-informed reader asked if the scooter that Melika had while at Law School was a Vespa.
“A Vespa!? Come on Dad!” Melika exclaimed.
“But..”
“I had a Malagutti.” [A Malagutti image is on the left]
“Well Excuse Me.”
“And it wasn’t yellow.”
Although the Democratic National Convention took place this week, Nazy asked about..
“Clint Eastwood, Dan. What did you think of his speech.”
“Well, eh, it’s important you know, eh, eh, for, eh, eh, actors to uh, uh, uh ... and this is a thing I think a lot about, eh, uh, ah, a script.”
“What?”
“Believe it or not, I agreed with him about getting out of Afghanistan. Now! But his delivery was painful. He needs a script - and rehearsals. Then he can rely on his acting talents. In this case, he could recall his part in A Fistful of Dollars.”
“He didn’t say anything in that movie.”
“Precisely.”
“But, Dan...”
“Eloquent silence. But, if, eh, well: listen here because this is important.. Ah, ah, ah Mr. President, our kids, eh, well, uhm, it’s what I, eh, eh...uhm..I can’t give the stage to Mitt.., um, er, ah, eh.”