Mr. Treehead frosts lost sugar luggage in backgammon Win
We’re having a wonderful holiday time with family and friends. The weather is beautiful and the food is spectacular. The week began with Darius’ arrival. We drove to LA to pick him up from LAX. The drive down, on the 22nd, was incredibly fast and trouble free - until we took the LAX exit from the 405:
The ABS (Antilock Braking System) engaged. Everything started shaking. Nazy, who had been dozing, woke up with a start - and a question.
“What was that? Why weren’t you looking? Have you gone crazy?”
“Well, my dear,” I patiently explained, “in the space of 40 meters, traffic density increased to neutron star levels, while at the same time, median vehicle speed decreased from 72 MPH to 0.00072 IPH.”
“IPH?”
“Inches per hour.”
“Is that a long way of saying that you weren't paying attention?”
“Wasn’t paying attention? Don’t be absurd. I I engaged the brakes, deployed the thrust reversers, extended the spoilers and lowered the flaps.” I replied. “And opened the door and stuck out my foot,” I thought. “There is a lot of traffic on Century Boulevard.”
“We can conclude that Darius was not the only person who decided to fly to LA for the holiday.”
In fact, it took just about a long to traverse the final mile as it took to drive from Santa Barbara to Oxnard - i.e.the first 50 miles. Traffic was unbelievable. Fortunately, Darius was arriving at Terminal 2. (Had it been, like last time, terminal 7, we’d still be queued.) I escaped the traffic by parking. Nazy and I, now late by a little, dashed to the crosswalk. I saw a red Camaro that I had been behind when I turned into the parking lot. I pushed the ‘Walk’ button and the Camaro had to stop.
I checked the arrivals board.
“We’re lucky, Nazy. Darius plane has landed, but the luggage hasn't been delivered yet. We just have to wait by baggage claim 3.”
Unbeknownst to me, my assertion had two flaws. The baggage had been delivered and waiting by baggage claim 3 was the wrong thing to do. In short: we were inside by claim 3, Darius was outside - waiting for us to drive by the curbside pickup. To simplify matters, I had left my mobile phone in the car. Nazy’s phone was set to vibrate. Mitra’s phone was turned off - she was teaching. Melika was in a Yoga Class. Darius’s mobile didn’t work in the USA. So.. he used a ‘pay phone’ - $10 for the first minute. He left voicemail for me, Mitra and Melika. He finally reached Nazy.
“Does anyone know that I’m here? Does anyone care?”
“We are at the airport, Darius.”
“Why didn’t Dad answer his phone?”
“He left it in the car in the rush to meet you.”
“What a great idea. What about Mitra and Melika? Do they still have phones?”
“Where are you Darius?”
“I’m at arrivals. Terminal 2. Outside. By the curb.”
It turned out that we were waiting about 50 feet from Dar. I immediately noticed that Darius had packed light.
“That’s because they lost one of my bags, Dad.”
“I, too, have had baggage problems during my progressional career.”
“it is my fault, Dad. But they promised that they would load my extra bag.”
“Why is it your fault?”
“If I had checked it at check-in, they would charge me excess baggage. So I just carried it to the gate - where I knew they would tell me it was too large to carry-on. Then they would check it - for free.”
“Good plan, Dar.”
“Would have been better if they had also put it on the airplane.”
[We later discovered that Middle East Airlines had checked the bag to Geneva. There, the Swiss had expertly handled the change of airlines. The problem had occurred in Montreal when a befuddled Air Canada lost track of it. The suitcase was delivered - all the way to Santa Barbara two days later.]
Mitra came up on Christmas Eve and we had a Christmas Eve dinner at Melika and Tom’s. We also enjoyed their holiday decoration:
“It’s Mr. Treehead,” Melika explained.
“Mr. Treehead? Like Mr. Potatohead?” I replied.
“This is the βeta release, Dad. Next year we’ll have Mr. Treehead 2.0.”
On Christmas eve, we enjoyed fondue and raclettes at Melika and Tom’s. Tom’s family, including his brothers - two of whom are very young - joined us. Christmas Day, we had brunch and dinner at our house by the Mission. We all went to see “Into the Woods”. (It is a really great movie based on fairy tales - but with an ending that his less than charming and not quite happily ever after.)
The ABS (Antilock Braking System) engaged. Everything started shaking. Nazy, who had been dozing, woke up with a start - and a question.
“What was that? Why weren’t you looking? Have you gone crazy?”
“Well, my dear,” I patiently explained, “in the space of 40 meters, traffic density increased to neutron star levels, while at the same time, median vehicle speed decreased from 72 MPH to 0.00072 IPH.”
“IPH?”
“Inches per hour.”
“Is that a long way of saying that you weren't paying attention?”
“Wasn’t paying attention? Don’t be absurd. I I engaged the brakes, deployed the thrust reversers, extended the spoilers and lowered the flaps.” I replied. “And opened the door and stuck out my foot,” I thought. “There is a lot of traffic on Century Boulevard.”
“We can conclude that Darius was not the only person who decided to fly to LA for the holiday.”
In fact, it took just about a long to traverse the final mile as it took to drive from Santa Barbara to Oxnard - i.e.the first 50 miles. Traffic was unbelievable. Fortunately, Darius was arriving at Terminal 2. (Had it been, like last time, terminal 7, we’d still be queued.) I escaped the traffic by parking. Nazy and I, now late by a little, dashed to the crosswalk. I saw a red Camaro that I had been behind when I turned into the parking lot. I pushed the ‘Walk’ button and the Camaro had to stop.
I checked the arrivals board.
“We’re lucky, Nazy. Darius plane has landed, but the luggage hasn't been delivered yet. We just have to wait by baggage claim 3.”
Unbeknownst to me, my assertion had two flaws. The baggage had been delivered and waiting by baggage claim 3 was the wrong thing to do. In short: we were inside by claim 3, Darius was outside - waiting for us to drive by the curbside pickup. To simplify matters, I had left my mobile phone in the car. Nazy’s phone was set to vibrate. Mitra’s phone was turned off - she was teaching. Melika was in a Yoga Class. Darius’s mobile didn’t work in the USA. So.. he used a ‘pay phone’ - $10 for the first minute. He left voicemail for me, Mitra and Melika. He finally reached Nazy.
“Does anyone know that I’m here? Does anyone care?”
“We are at the airport, Darius.”
“Why didn’t Dad answer his phone?”
“He left it in the car in the rush to meet you.”
“What a great idea. What about Mitra and Melika? Do they still have phones?”
“Where are you Darius?”
“I’m at arrivals. Terminal 2. Outside. By the curb.”
It turned out that we were waiting about 50 feet from Dar. I immediately noticed that Darius had packed light.
“That’s because they lost one of my bags, Dad.”
“I, too, have had baggage problems during my progressional career.”
“it is my fault, Dad. But they promised that they would load my extra bag.”
“Why is it your fault?”
“If I had checked it at check-in, they would charge me excess baggage. So I just carried it to the gate - where I knew they would tell me it was too large to carry-on. Then they would check it - for free.”
“Good plan, Dar.”
“Would have been better if they had also put it on the airplane.”
[We later discovered that Middle East Airlines had checked the bag to Geneva. There, the Swiss had expertly handled the change of airlines. The problem had occurred in Montreal when a befuddled Air Canada lost track of it. The suitcase was delivered - all the way to Santa Barbara two days later.]
Mitra came up on Christmas Eve and we had a Christmas Eve dinner at Melika and Tom’s. We also enjoyed their holiday decoration:
“It’s Mr. Treehead,” Melika explained.
“Mr. Treehead? Like Mr. Potatohead?” I replied.
“This is the βeta release, Dad. Next year we’ll have Mr. Treehead 2.0.”
On Christmas eve, we enjoyed fondue and raclettes at Melika and Tom’s. Tom’s family, including his brothers - two of whom are very young - joined us. Christmas Day, we had brunch and dinner at our house by the Mission. We all went to see “Into the Woods”. (It is a really great movie based on fairy tales - but with an ending that his less than charming and not quite happily ever after.)
Tom, his new hat, and Melika
Everybody came to the movie - even young Tiger. For dinner, Nazy made her world-famous curry and perfect Persian rice. We played a backgammon tournament on a hand-made game board that Darius had had constructed in Lebanon for Melika and Tom. I am happy to say that I was the winner.
“Eh, Dad?” Darius interrupts. “There were three co-champions.”
“And I was one of them, Dar. Therefore..”
“You are leaving the impression that you beat me.”
“That’s because I did beat you.”
“But you lost to Tom.”
“And you beat Tom. Therefore..”
“But, Dad, you lost to ..”
“Merry Christmas, Dar. I won the last game. Therefore..”
Because it was a holiday, we decided to treat the baby by introducing him to mashed apples. His response was less than enthusiastic. We fell back to bananas. For some reason, there was a plethora of gifts for the baby.
We also iced sugar cookies - some with more artistic flair (and skill) than others.
For more Christmas photos, click here
Last week’s letter available if you click here
Mitra’s Rooster Sugar Cookie
blog comments powered by Disqus