Visualized Grandparents with 24-hour Electricity
“I’m not surprised that you have airline problems, Dad. You get what you visualize.”
“Visualize?” replied. “I couldn’t possibly have visualized the chaotic disaster of my (attempted) flight from Geneva,” I thought. “I don’t write horror stories.” (But, of course, I do - see here.)
“If you visualize a smooth trip, YOU WILL HAVE A SMOOTH TRIP.” Mitra replied. CAPITALIZED.
“Why don’t you visualize for me?” I asked. “I’ve never had a smooth trip,” I thought. “I don’t know how to visualize one.”
“It’s the way California works, Dad.”
Naturally (and objectively) I rejected Mitra’s advice. Flying United Airlines, I was
Reader Interrupt: United Airlines. Don’t you ever learn?
Answer: It was the only way to get to Boston in a reasonable amount of time.
Reader:If you consider 3 days a reasonable amount of time, I rest my case.
Continuing.. I knew that visualization would not work for me. Scientific objectivity would prevail over Mitra’s New Age solution. I was incompletely accurate.
“No, Dad.” Mitra interjected. “You were wrong.”
“I was, eh, challenged by the inexplicable..”
“... but visualized.”
“ ... flight that arrived on-time. With my luggage. I even had the only coach seat with an adjoining, but unoccupied, chair.”
“So, Dad, you were...”
“I was wrong.” I whispered.
While thinking about being bested by Mitra, I got a call from Darius who was ...
“... tossed out of my apartment, Dad. My landlord sold it to a Syrian refugee for cash.”
“A refugee had enough cash to buy an apartment in the Hamra district of Beirut?”
“That’s what the...”
“A refugee?!”
“That’s what he said.”
“So where are you moving?”
“I found a studio apartment that has 24 hour electricity, Dad! Can you imagine that?”
“You have been in Lebanon too long, my son.”
“Whenever I flick the switch the light comes on! It’s ...”
“... time you thought about a job in a first world country, Dar.” I interrupted.
“Lots of students are living in this facility. It’s like being in a dorm.”
“It’s really time for you...”
“It is closer to my work and the ceiling is not chipping and dropping onto my rug. The call-to-prayers loudspeaker is no longer right outside my bedroom window.”
“And the machine guns are muffled and it’s bomb proof.” I thought, unconvinced. Dar won’t leave Lebanon, he is a commentator on an English-language Iraqi TV station and the local kids ...
“... were very worried that America would bomb Syria.They asked for my advice, Dad.”
“And..”
“I told them that I would write a letter to President Obama. Three days after I wrote, Obama cancelled the bombing.”
“And you let the kids think..”
“The kids drew the obvious conclusion Dad. I didn’t want to disillusion them. Besides, there is a correlation between my letter and..”
“Write a letter to Obama about my taxes, Dar.”
We were having dinner with Melika and Tom and we were discussing the 2014 celebration of their 2013 wedding.
“... it will be outdoors. Marc and Adrianna’s house construction will be done by then.”
Marc and Adrianna are sharing Melika and Tom’s house while the construction is underway. More to the point, Charley, a bouncy Labrador dog is sharing the house with Monster, Melika’s Russian Siberian cat.
“... and Charley thinks that hissing means ‘let’s play’.”
“One of these days, Charley is going to find a claw in his nose,” I thought.
“And Monster thinks that Charley is an overactive interloper,” Melika continued.
“And the wedding celebration?” I asked interrupting the canine/feline discussion.
“it will be in California so we can invite everyone. It will be a great party. All of our friends..”
“The entire Santa Barbara population will be coming,” I thought.
“ ... and family. There is just one small challenge,” Tom concluded.
“It’s going to be great!” Nazy jumped in. “An outdoor celebration in the garden. I love it! Santa Barbara! Outdoors. It will be delightful I can’t wait.... I’m so..”
“Nazy!” I interrupted. “What small challenge?” I asked - drawing the obvious conclusion.
“Well, there will be a baby..” Melika said.
Nazy was speechless.
“Our baby.” Melika explained.
“There will be a lot of people around to hold it,” I thought. “Oh, Ah, My...” Nazy replied. Coherently. “Gosh, Golly. Melika will be a grandmother.”
“No dear,” I explained. “Melika will be the mother. You will be the grandmother.”
“... and if it’s a boy,” Melika continued, “his name will be Thomas R Adams IV. But..”
“If it’s a girl,” I interrupted, “I suggest Danielle Paula Martina...”
“Dad..”
“The First,” I concluded. Unsuccessfully.
Nazy and I are celebrating Thanksgiving in San Francisco with Shahriar and Fay. More about that next week. In the meantime:
