bank on ascending birth certificates hedged with snow plows
I hope that you are well and well on the road to prosperity. Here, Nazy and I enjoyed a happy week in beautiful Switzerland. (see photo.)
There was, however, a challenge:
“I need to visit the Iranian Embassy in Bern.” Nazy explained.
“Didn’t we do that already?”
“I need a copy of my birth certificate.”
“I thought we had one..”
“The one I have is not valid: it’s from the Empire of Iran. I need one from the Islamic Republic. In order to apply, I had to get an Islamic photograph.”
“You had one of those.”
“That photo was rejected because my neck was showing,” Nazy replied as she called the embassy in Bern. “He says they will be close on Thursday,” Nazy whispered and then asked the consul why there were closed.
“We are closed because it is a Swiss holiday. All offices are closed,” he replied.
“It’s a Christian holiday,” Nazy explained. {It was Ascension Day.)
“It’s a Swiss holiday,” he insisted. “We don’t celebrate Christian holidays.”
“You may not celebrate, but you also don’t work.” Nazy thought.
“Ask him if they work on the Shah’s birthday.” I whispered, barely controlling a chuckle when I saw Nazy’s Islamic photo. “Are they going to compare this photo with your baby photo to confirm your identity?” I asked. [Note: I would have included Nazy’s Islamic photo if I were more brave.]
Nazy glared. “Don’t you have to go swimming or something?”
I thought about my last trip to the pool: No nuns, but a flotilla of old ladies, arranged like a conga line of snowplows on the Massachusetts Turnpike had effectively blocked my attempt to swim laps. (I was also frightened by the tsunami-sized bow wave that the behemoth in the lead generated.)
This week, JPMorgan, the biggest bank in America with more than $2 trillion (i.e. more than $2,000,000,000,000) in assets discovered a trading loss that generated $2 Billion, eh $2.5 Billion, eh $3 Billion loss. Jamie Dimon, their CEO and Chairman,was uncharacteristically humble.
“He said the trade was egregious and stupid,” Nazy quoted International Herald Tribune.
“He’s been denouncing rules that were designed to prevent egregious stupidity,” I replied.
“He says ‘those rules’ would not have stopped this case.”
“That’s because no one understands what they did, so it couldn’t have broken rules. As far as I can tell they were betting, eh, trading their own money on... well, no one quite knows.”
“No one?”
“That’s right. They haven’t been able to exit the positions: the loss will continue to grow.”
“Wasn’t JPMorgan one of the best banks?”
“Yep. If they can’t manage this, then it’s impossible to manage. And, if it’s impossible, then it shouldn’t be done. It’s like: If Japan can’t create adequate procedures and designs for safety of nuclear power plants, then it is not possible. It’s the same thing with banks trading on their own account.”
“Why do they do it?”
“They may actually believe that they understand what they’re doing. (Of course, they don’t know.) And, iincentives are designed to give traders and management massive rewards if the bets work and little or no penalty if they fail.”
“So you, Dan, are ..”
“not impressed. But it could be worse. It could be Grεεce.”
“I’m glad they don’t have any nuclear power plants there.”
This week we also went to a concert..
“Charles Taylor,” Nazy exclaimed. “We’re going to a Charles Taylor concert.”
“Charles Taylor is the ex-President of Liberia. He was convicted of genocide at the International Court in The Hague.”
“Maybe it’s James Taylor.”
“Fire and Rain? You’ve got a friend? Shall we check iTunes, Nazy?”
Reader Alert: Blatant plug for Dan’s book follows: “Check Amazon instead. I’ve heard that Stumbling Through the Tulips is now available on kindle - here.” Nazy replied.
Nazy and I celebrated Ascension Day by visiting Seleger Moor which..
“... this time will have flowers,” I explained. I was, as usual, right..
“As usual?” Nazy interrupted.
“Precisely.”
“Hurumphh.” Nazy mumbled.
It turned out, however, that we were not the only people who took advantage of the delightful weather with a trip to Seleger Moor.
“Why are so many people Descending on Seleger Moor? It is Ascension Day.” I asked.
We strolled through the Moor enjoying the flowers and then I suggested that we drive to Rapperswil for lunch. Once again, we were not the only people with that idea.
The ferry across Lake Zurich was quick, but the subsequent drive along the lakeside was fraught. We finally arrived on the outskirts of Rapperswil. Naturally optimistic, I noted:
“We’ll never find a parking place. Who’s idea was this?”
“We won’t have any problems with parking. Look at that sign,” Nazy replied.
“Seems simple enough to me,” I replied. “It would be even simpler if we were moving,” I thought surveying surrounding stationary vehicular mass.
Nazy found a place quickly. (She cheated; she knew where she was going.) We had a (very) late lunch and a nice walk on a wooden bridge across Lake Zurich.
Finally: Given my tirade last week about unfair taxation of US citizens who reside outside the United States, some readers may conclude that I support the decision by Eduardo Saverin, a facebook founder, to renounce US citizenship to avoid taxes. I do not. He lived in the USA and should pay taxes there. I do not support Senate bill that was created to ‘get’ him. Legislation aimed at one person inevitably has unintended consequences. (In the vernacular, it turns around and bites us in the ass.) In a larger sense, it’s clear that our legislators don’t know what they’re doing, so like some traders and most nuclear plant operators, they should be sidelined.
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