Nazy
Reproachful Fumigated Fish Dance with Zombies at MOXI
25-11-19 12:20
Will Halloween ever end? (Or, more to the point, will Dan finish recounting Halloween stories before Thanksgiving?) Who went to see Lady Gaga? How does Dan look as he jumps, in slow motion, holding Tiger and Arrow. Note: He was happy that slow motion helped him pad the ‘hang time’. How did wind and termites create challenges for tents? Why does Dan’s Angelfish scowl at him reproachfully? Read More...
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pressurized reunion windows and muffler-challenged dodge trips
23-06-19 08:32
Don’t you hate it when your jet is broken? How will Dan and Nazy cope? And what did United Airlines know and when did they know it? Is this the first time Dan flew UPS class? Where can you see deer in the DC area? What important item did Dan forget to pack? Don’t most rental cars come with mufflers? Did Dan’s rental car come directly off the set of The Dukes of Hazard? Who, decades later, still fits into her college blazer? Where is the best place to go to buy colorful stamps?
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Duct tape launches first debonair rainfall with Leandr
11-10-18 12:45
Which airline delayed a flight because “an overhead bin door won’t close”? How big was the tool box that the mechanic assigned to fix the door pulled into the (wide body) airplane? Hint: It would have been better if the aisle was wide-body. How did the expertise that Dan garnered at Georgia Tech solve the problem? Hint: A real engineer only needs two items: Duct Tape and WD-40. What is a gable and why does a Salem house have seven of them? Why doesn’t Tiger want to be suave, charming, sophisticated and debonair? How did (the lovely) Leandra react when she saw the (local) family after a summer in Beirut? Read More...
Massachusetts Museum with bathroom-challenged 17th Century house
02-10-18 17:44
Will United Airlines fall for Dan’s disguised identity? More to the point, will they deliver a trouble-free flight before they realize that Dan is on-board? How would you handle a New England museum tour guide who treated the tourists like third graders? Would you be ready for show and tell? Is there a men’s belt shop in Salem, Massachusetts? (And why do we care?) When was indoor plumbing commonplace? Where did all of Dan's siblings come together in September, 2018? Read More...
Tiger measures Alphabetical Wurlitzer sliding cardboard
14-05-18 21:25
What does Tiger want to measure with his ‘measurer’? Hint: if it has dimensions, Tiger wants to measure it. Does Arrow find anything more interesting than the bubbling Wurlitzer jukebox? (Can anyone find anything more interesting that said jukebox?) How do Tiger and Arrow compare (style-wise) on their grass boards? (Think snowboard on grassy, short hills.) Who’s first two word phrase is “EXIT sign”. What is the image on the World’s Most Difficult Jigsaw puzzle?
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clueless swim teacher focus: fact free parrot menagerie
08-05-18 23:11
Has Tiger become the master of conversational repartee? Why did he tell Arrow to focus? (And did 1 year old Arrow comprehend the nature and importance of the request?) How did Tiger characterize the performance of the substitute swimming teacher? (And how did it compare with the substitute’s analysis of Tiger?) Who has learned all of the letters of the alphabet — thereby becoming the newest abecedarian in the family? Where can you find ‘bad boy’ cockatiels? (And why are they in the penalty box?) Where is the best place to employ a bricklaying butterfly? Read More...
Bicycling ocean tides deposit crowds at local zoo
22-04-18 13:50
Can Tiger master a (Pedal-less) two-wheeler? Can Nazy befuddle, bewilder and bedazzle a feckless parking lot attendant who is convinced that his parking lot is ‘FULL’? More accurately: How did Nazy find a parking spot? When is it safe for a husband to complain about the old saying: What goes up must come down? Or, in this case: he who walks down must eventually climb up. Have you ever turned your back on the ocean? Read More...
Spring trees wearing bandaids tie traditions in knots
08-04-18 16:31
Your grandson asks: Why does that tree have a bandaid? Do you explain tree grafts? Do you pretend that he’s speaking into the ‘bad’ ear? Do you say: “Yes, that tree has a boo boo.”? Were you afraid of the Easter Bunny when you were 1 (and a half) years old? Were you still afraid even it was your Daddy inside the costume? Can Dan master streaming TV? And what will Tiger do as he begins collecting royalties on his likeness? Read More...
no miniBBQ vans surprise Nazy in Santa Barbara (but Sister Does)
04-04-18 08:36
Who ordered ‘soul food’ for a party of 250 when they meant to order for a group of 25? Was Dan able to fix the problem with gargantuan BBQ rib consumption? More to the point, why wasn’t the cake similarly sized? How do you change a birthday celebration into a birthday jubilee? Hint: Lots of rolling thunder surprises can help. Where does ‘freeway free’ really mean ‘traffic light enabled’? What color was the vanity license-plated VAN-GO minivan? And will Dan ever get another one? Read More...
Surprise! Clues Candles Minivans Cakes Grandkids and Hi Tech Loos
01-04-18 08:57
Will Nazy be surprised? (Can Dan and 25 other guests keep the secret?) Who said the ‘M-word’? Repeatedly? Hint: The word in question is ‘Minivan’. Who created a great Riff on a Hamilton song? And why? How did sleight of hand (and prestidigitation) keep secrets intact? How did Arrow react when it turned out that he was no longer the youngest baby in the house? Would you know how to use a joystick controller for the toilet? (Could you do it without reading chapter 28 in the instruction manual?) Read More...
Cleopatra’s Cowboy feathers Marc Antony’s Indians with Burning Man
05-11-17 11:05
Who wears the hats in the family? (Especially on Halloween.) Can Marc Dantony out-glam CleoNazy?How do cascading white feathers compared to fringed buckskin? Can anyone talk Dan into wearing a Burning Man costume to a Halloween party? How about Kinky Boots? Are they better on Broadway or on Nazy or, even (gasp!) on Dan? Why does jet lag make it impossible to fall asleep — except when the snooze button is pushed?
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software (down) grades Dan’s pretty French (or Farsi) skills
28-05-17 13:18
Who (mindlessly) thought that accepting a software upgrade would be a good idea? How did Tiger foil Dan’s claims of linguistic superiority? And, did it replicate the victory that Mitra achieved a couple of decades earlier? On the subject of speech, is it proper to say “The baby shakes the shakers?”. What about punctuation of the previous sentence? How did a cranberry bagel (with cream cheese) and a pretty French lady feature into martial harmony? Read More...
Grand Mothers (to be) days balance please go now desk
15-05-17 18:37
Where did the family’s Mother’s Day celebrants convene? Did we salute Grandmothers and Mother’s to Be as well? Why won’t 9 month old Arrow accept well-meaning and obviously accurate grandfatherly commentary? I’m talking about advice like: “You need a mastery of balance before you try to walk”. Do you have to learn to read if you’ve already memorized all your books? Why (and how) did Dr. Seuss frighten young Tiger. (Hint: Tigers are orange.) Can Nazy do watercolors on a leather covered table? Read More...
Wildflower Super Bloom hides on Mars with United de-electing staff
18-04-17 18:10
Can Dan and Nazy find the California Wildflower super-bloom that can be seen from the International Space Station? And, on the space theme, why is it located in the desert where the Mars Rover was tested? Is it relevant that, Curiosity, the name of the Mars Rover does not need gasoline? Or is it more important that Curiosity killed the cat? Did domestic tranquility prevail when Nazy assumed the role of auto navigation computer? In a related topic, were the Santa Barbara airport police able to drag a passenger onto a United flight? And, should we all hope that the government outsources Air Force One service to United Airlines? Read More...
Neon graveyard in Death Valley presages Mojave campout
10-04-17 09:53
Who would propose a romantic trip to Death Valley as a birthday gift? (Hint: the person celebrating her birthday gave the proposer a colonoscopy for his birthday.) Where is the hottest, the driest and the lowest US National Park? Would you want to visit a tacky, neon lit cemetery? (Well, we were in Las Vegas.) Should you listen to a navigation computer that recommends a route that is 75 miles longer? And, related: Is there anything to do when you’re completely stopped, between Mojave desert exits, on the I-15? Read More...
Birthday body glitters with Beatles red sole sales
06-04-17 21:40
Who had an April Fool’s Day birthday in Las Vegas? How did Dan get body paint and glitter dabbed into his beard? Why would anyone want $hoe$ with red soles? Was Cirque du Solei able to resurrect The Beatles or was it all a Mirage? Where can you see a giant statue of Popeye? What did Dan do when reminded to use ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’? Read More...
Hotel loses a pink elephant,10,000 pennies and a Wocket in my Pocket
11-12-16 09:08
Is Dr. Seuss the greatest author to hit the literary scene since Bill Shakespeare? If you’re two years old and you’ve got a Wocket in your Pocket, then you know the answer. How did La Grande Hotel Intercontinental (Paris) deliver such abject disappointment? Who put the space-time continuum at risk? Does anyone know how much 10,000 pennies weighs? And why is Dan abandoning his quest for his own private jet? Read More...
romantic shingles ram and juice nazy’s birthday celebration
03-04-16 15:09
Why wasn’t Nazy impressed with Dan’s birthday gift? After all, isn’t it true that the family that gets vaccinated together, stays together? And, do you think that a cold juicer is, well, utilitarian rather than romantic? Was it possible that Dan missed subtle hints about alternatives. (BTW: when you think ‘subtle’, think of elephants stampeding or Presidential candidates ‘debating’ or fireworks factories exploding.) Did Nazy forget that her birthday is on April Fool’s Day? What did she do with Elmer’s glue and a bottle of sand? And, were Dan and Nazy able to avoid the woodlands police while following an ancient Persian tradition? Read More...
Hats off as equinox eclipse talks dumb, butts hatted heads
20-09-15 08:24
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Why was is ‘hat’ one of the first words that the grand(est)son learned to speak? Who would store runoff rain water in the ocean? During a drought? Where would they turn a river into a concrete culvert in order to prevent rainwater from replenishing the aquifer? During a drought? When will the language teaching winner be crowned? Does next week’s lunar eclipse portend the end of the world? And, if so, did it have to happen on Dan’s birthday?
A Real Analysis of The Buick Anniversary Celebration
25-07-15 19:43
When did Dan and Nazy celebrate their ‘Buick’ anniversary? (And where were they living at the time?) Was Nazy shocked to discover that Dan would be at home for his wedding anniversary? Why is a Santa Barbara celebration better than a Sicilian holiday? How is the grandspring doing? (What is a grandspring?) Did KLM actually help celebrate? Read More...
birthday venus with surprised day-long spa in 1394
04-04-15 16:06
Was it a coincidence that there was a conjunction of Venus and the Moon on Nazy’s birthday? How did Nazy and Dan make appropriate arrangements for good luck in the year 1394? (Does retroactive good luck count?) Who parked next to a California Prickly Pear Cactus - and then watched his spouse attempt to get out of the car? What do spas, shoes, dinners and family all have in common? Read More...
Birthday with red cirque Slots and Chihuly Chandelier
07-04-14 12:24
Where should a high roller celebrate a birthday? (Does an $8.75 investment in the slot machine make you a ‘high roller’?) Where do you hang a $20,000,000 Chandelier that’s roughly the size of (and weight) of the Brooklyn Bridge? Who would go to Las Vegas in search of nature’s beauty? Can Dan safely photograph the illusive and dangerous stink bug in the wild?
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vitamin transplants tomato eating Japanese beetle
14-09-13 20:23
Is it necessary to buy organic sneakers in California? (sneakers = trainers in the UK; sneakers = gympies in The Netherlands; sneakers = tennis shoes in 1954) Why does a New Jersey childhood trauma involving the state university of New Jersey and Japanese invaders still haunt Dan? Where do you find spices and bananas?
Read More...viscous chicken fingers chocolate mont blanc tourguide
21-06-13 23:20
Could Nazy and Dan handle a guided (tour) bus bully? Does a Nestle chocolate bar taste “just like” a Sprungli Truffle? (Will it taste better if placed in a “Chocolat de Villars” wrapper?) Will they have Coca Cola on the Aiguelle du Midi? Would you walk down 404 steps in order to stroll through a tunnel in a receding glacier? Would you do it even if you knew you’d have to walk, eh, climb, back up? 404 Steps?
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Beanstalk Amaryllis and Pewter soldiers in Dijon
24-06-12 01:01
Who is Amy and why is she stalking Dan and Nazy? Can Dan prove that his cold weather springtime complaint are justified? Which Dijon mustard company is owned by an American conglomerate? Where are the bargains in France: Perfume? Haircuts? Speeding tickets? Read More...
Waterfall Markets stāring socially insecure salads
10-06-12 05:59
You’re in a French gastronomical emporium and you want salad. Obviously your name is not Dan, but what do you do when the waitress says: “No”? How does algorithmic skill enable Dan to paint a masterpiece? What is the social insecurity penalty claws and how does it apply? Read More...
bank on ascending birth certificates hedged with snow plows
19-05-12 21:59
Why did the Iranian embassy celebrate a Christian holiday? What do Massachusetts snowplows have to do with Dan’s swimming? Should Congressmen (who don’t know what they’re doing) pass laws to prevent bankers (who don’t know what they’re doing) from being egregiously stupid? Are the rhododendrons finally in bloom?
[Note: Photo is from Rapperswil along Lake Zurich.] Read More...
Silent Moorish frogs read best sellers in colorful pants
06-05-12 05:52
Does Dan have time to solve the Riemann hypothesis and find the Higgs boson? Are fiddlehead ferns in the soggy moor an aphrodisiac for the local frogs? Is it possible that Nazy’s pants are more colorful than Dans? Have you bought Amazon best seller: Stumbling Through the Tulips?
Swans reflect retired overtaxed web weavers
15-04-12 12:07
Will Dan’s cleverly diversified retirement plan provide perennial prosperity? How does the US government make it impossible for citizens to work abroad? Do you admire swooning swans reflected on a languid lake?
Read More...Nonagenarian nuns nix nazy’s nifty knots
08-04-12 07:23
Can nine nonagenarian nuns nix Nazy’s nifty knots? Will Darius’ optimism and Dan’s pragmatism banish her Majesty’s fog? Will Persian New Year wishes come true if the ritual is rushed? The Weekly Letter reveals all. Read More...
Red Vests, Ticking Ice and Bloke-Totes
08-01-12 03:33
Who would give Dan a ‘purse’, eh “Bloke-Tote” for Christmas? Is ticking ice a threat to family sanity? Would ‘bubbles’ be a good idea for the official 2011 Martin Family photo?