Azelle
sorry hidden iPad awaits museum and swing
24-10-21 14:26
What kind of a store mandates appointments to make purchases? Is there a way around mandates? Have the global supply chain problems come to Santa Barbara? Or, more specifically, how long will it take Dan to get a new iPad? Can Azelle aim an iPhone accurately enough to take a photograph? Where is the ‘absolutely fabulous’ fairy garden? If you’re sorry (Azelle) is it smart to ask a third party (Dan), to convey the message to Nazy? Did you see the (crescent) Moon and Venus?
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Pink Bear and Red Volkswagen presage soapy beard
23-09-21 17:09
Will Nazy and (especially) Dan, get back to Anchorage before ALL the restaurants (and room service) closes? What did Nazy think of Chateau Coke? And did she really drink wine with a straw? Are there any animals in Alaska that are bigger than 4 pixels? Why did Dan rent a turbo charged, red, convertible at LAX? Does he still get ‘cool points’ if it was a beetle? Why did Azelle think that Dan could ‘not read that book very good’?Did Tiger really grow a beard? And, finally, how did the Taliban take over Texas so quickly? Read More...
Carpenter Ants devour Losing Lakers’ Swiss Army Knife
06-06-21 18:14
Are there any carpenter ants in Santa Barbara? Can you eliminate carpenter ants with a Swiss Army Knife? (Well, maybe not, but you can open a bottle of wine so that you can imbibe while the ants eat your house.) Did the Lakers get reelected, eh, did they win the championship? Why did the pest exterminator recommend acquisition of Daddy-Longlegs? Who has an atlas collection taller than the Atlas Mountains — and a coin collection that weighs more than an aircraft carrier? And, finally, what does a bulldozer have in common with a jellyfish? Read More...
Blameless Rainy Cakes and Bunnies with Eggs and Lime
28-04-20 15:26
Was the Easter Bunny able to visit during the stay at home order? What did Azelle think of a 6 foot high Easter Bunny with a head the size of the globe at the 1964 World’s Fair in NYC? Was the same Easter Bunny able to visit Bellingham, Washington? How many brown bags does it take to hold ‘a few limes’ and a ‘small sack of cashews’?And how many pounds (kilos? tons?) will said sack(s) weigh? And who made the giant mess in Melika’s kitchen? (And who got blamed?) Read More...
rainless, but colorful rocks watch linguistic children reign
23-02-20 14:22
When visiting the Natural History Museum with Mitra and Dan, what exhibit will be most interesting to Arrow? And, on a related note, what happened to the building blocks and the earthquake simulation table? Can florescent rocks take up the slack? How about friendly raptors? Can Dan cope with the limitations of monolingualism? Can Darius take pronunciation corrections from a 2 two year? Read More...
free lunch singing bye bye on blue barbecue train
08-02-20 15:23
What ‘wrong’ mailing list did Dan somehow appear on? How did that give him a valid reason to decline attendance at a “free lunch”? And refuse to speak with an insurance salesman? (Note: I realize that there is always a reason to not speak to an insurance salesman.) How was Grandparents Day at Tiger’s school? Where, other than South Africa, do they have a blue train? Who likes piano pounding and brio train wrecking? Read More...
scary clown and fast clapping babies dodge jigsaw hazards
21-01-20 13:29
Who is faster than a speeding bullet? Able to climb tall buildings in a fearless second? Unable to understand the difference between a chocking hazard and a dump truck? Which gender can master potty training fastest? How was Arrow able to turn a chocking hazard into a reasoned excuse? Who is the best at sitting, giggling, clapping and smiling — all while not climbing the walls or falling off the chair? Read More...
Azelle forks pizza at Hide and Seek MyGym music class
04-11-19 11:58
Who mixes up ‘hide and go seek’ with the ‘ostrich pretend game’? How many one year olds insist on using a fork to eat pizza? [Observation: I’m far more than one year old and I don’t.] What is the official name of the ‘hacky sack’ launching system exhibit at the Santa Barbara children’s museum? Who likes the LiteBrite exhibit more — Nazy or Azelle?
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water $’s float away on baptisms and birthday
29-08-19 11:47
Water, water, everywhere — and not a drop for free. (Or even for a reasonable price.) Who turned a $ water bill into a $$$$ National Deficit? And, speaking of water, which six month old baby was unimpressed with the ‘water’ concept that is associated with Christening? What was the perfect occasion for Dan to wear his harlequin shirt? What kind of bottles did Dan buy for a first birthday celebration? What can you do when ‘the children’ have no problems with jet lag, but ‘the parents’ are not so lucky?
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musical beds and sleepless kids drive and putt costly parking ticket
20-08-19 22:11
Can Tiger handle a putter? How about a driver? Tennis Racket? Can he drive Dan crazy by making a racket? If you see a parking warden heading your way … while you’re parked in a red zone, is it wise to drive off? More to the point, what should you do before you drive off? And how did the State of California figure it out? How did the High School reunion go? When was the last time you played musical beds with three children? And do you have Tiger PJs? Read More...
Azelle notes Musth Aromatics, Arrow’s six packs and Tiger’s Beard
19-10-18 08:11
How does Tiger look with a goatee? (And how did Johnson Baby Shampoo help him pull off the impersonation?) What did Arrow think of Baby Shampoo? Hint: He’s the one with the beautiful hair. And I speak as an expert in ‘hair’ (lose). If you gained weight at the same rate as Azelle, how long would it take before the planet started to orbit around you? What ‘sparkling wine’ tastes like aspirin dropped in a glass of Alka Seltzer? And why isn’t anyone embarrassed by the gargantuan increase in the annual deficit? Read More...
Home button bAby drops ZEaLously on deadLinE date
22-08-18 21:23
Will DAn’s ZEaLous pursuit of a functional iphone home button be fruitfuL? Why is Tiger at Zoo Camp? (And who rodE the blue train there?) Can Arrow Keep control if he is not the bAby? Who was comfoRtablE, relaxed and in No hurry? By the way: why was Melika visiting acupuncture clinics, chirOpractoRs offices and mediatioN studios? How did massage do the trick? (And what was that trick?) Where there any exciting arrivals in Santa Barbara last week? Hint: Think Pink.