kernel pops corn in nosey Zoom Father’s Day
“She did what?” Nazy shouted.
“Popcorn? How did Azelle get a popcorn kernel stuck up her nose?”
“Yes! It has to come out.”
“No. I don’t think it will come out by itself.”
“Yes, we will come right away.”
Naturally I was concerned.. but “Wesley had just died and what would Buttercup do?” I thought.
We drove to Melika’s house with confidence because we had relevant experience with …
“ … foreign objects in nasal passages, Nazy. Remember when Mitra got a grapefruit seed stuck in her nose?”
“Mitra was much older than Azelle.”
“Do you remember how it happened, Dan?” Nazy asked.
“She was in Montessori School. They focused on tastes, textures, colors and smells. They told the children to take a good sniff of the grapefruit and Mitra..”
“… took a giant sniff,” Nazy recalled. “How did we get it out?”
“It was easy. We took her to the doctor.”
“It’s Sunday night. It’s 10:30 Sunday night. On Father’s Day. No doctor will be open for Azelle.”
“Maybe we can get it out.”
“Shahriar told me to be careful — it might get lodged in her sinus or it might migrate to her lung.”
“Dandy.” I replied.
The kernel was well and truly stuck. At our suggestion,Tom called 911 and described the emergency. We expected them to offer advice. Instead they immediately recognized the magnitude of the catastrophe and dispatched a fire engine and an emergency medical team.
Four giant men and one woman wearing masks, hats with lights on them and yellow vests arrived with … “… heavy equipment?” I thought. “What are they going to do with that?”
They swaddled Azelle in a blanket, got someone to hold her legs (so that she wouldn’t kick them), turned on their lights and got one person to hold her head steady. For some reason Azelle was not happy about these developments. Nazy, who was holding Azelle’s legs, calmly freaked out. Tiger shouted encouragement from the sidelines:
“It will come out. Don’t worry.”
(Arrow didn’t want to watch and actually wanted to go to bed.)
“This thing is really far,” the EMT declared after a fruitless first attempt.
“So that’s why you’re using tweezers that are three feet long,” I thought.
They got the kernel on the third try. Azelle was livid. Nazy was shaking. Everyone was relieved. There was no lasting affect: Azelle was fine the next morning.
On Father’s Day. Because of the pandemic, we celebrated (3 Dads) with a Zoom call. As you can see from the photo, Tiger, representing the Adams Family, was ‘head over heals’ with excitement.
Because we can’t travel, Nazy and I haven’t seen Darius, Christiane and the rapidly growing Leandra and Auriane since Christmas. We had to cancel two trips to Washington State and given the resurgence of the virus, it’s not clear when we’ll get to see them in person. Although we use Zoom to read Dr. Seuss to Leandra …
“… it’s not so easy, Nazy.” I explained. “Leandra has memorized The Cat in The Hat.”
“So?”
“I need to find something better.”
“Leandra speaks French, so why don’t you get a ..”
“I don’t speak French.”
“You just have to read it, Dan. You don’t have to understand it.”
“Oui?”
Bellingham, Washington isn’t the only place that we’re not able to visit. Mitra, who lives less than 100 miles away, hasn’t been up for several months. She is super careful and very cautious. And just when it seemed to be getting better, the case count has increased and opening up orders are slowed, stalled or rescinded.
Meanwhile, in the alternative universe …
“And Trump has cured cancer, Nazy.” I noted.
“What?”
“If you don’t test for cancer, then there won’t be any cancer. I can’t wait until the ‘president’ realizes that he can become immortal as long as no one tests for a heart beat or breathing.”
“But then he could be brain dead.”
“How would we tell?” I replied, noting that Trump is leading an administration in which incompetence, stupidity, derangement, bigotry, corruption, and dishonesty are each struggling to take the upper hand.
To celebrate Tom’s birthday, the Adams Family drove a few miles south on the 101 to a friend’s, currently unused beach house. They flew kites, ate popsicles, built sand castles and polished off Tom’s birthday cake.
And, finally, Nazy finished The Safavi Family Tree. It is more than a meter in length and about two thirds of a meter wide. Interested readers can compare Nazy’s effort with my (decades ago) approach to my family tree. Mine, which fits on a letter-size piece of paper, stops about 1000 years before Nazy’s.
For last week's letter, please click here
Dan's Family Tree 