Apple downgrades while moron seethes and Arrow taxe$
11-10-17 21:41 Family Humor,Arrow
It’s been a beautiful week … marred only by Apple Computer’s upgrade. For some absurd reason, I allowed both iPhones and my iPad to be ‘upgraded’ to the latest version of Apple’s operating system. Nazy reacted immediately..
“My iPhone is dim, Dan. What did you do?”
I had, in fact, also noticed that my iPhone and my iPad had similar problems. The iPhones could be ‘fixed’ by adjusting the brightness slider. Unfortunately, the new, ‘improved’ Apple Operating System, restored the slider to the dim position overtime the phone woke up. The iPad, on the other hand, left the brightness slider in the full bright position… except that ‘full bright’ was ‘mostly dark’.
When Nazy became convinced that I couldn’t fix the problem (it didn’t take long), we trekked to the Apple Store with her phone. They also couldn’t fix the problem.
“Just call Apple support,” they said.
I tried that option as well.. with the focus on my iPad. Unfortunately, Allyson was as clueless as me. Actually, Allyson was more clueless than me. And, ALL of her suggestions (i.e. both of them) were useless. Hint: there are two ways to adjust the brightness slider; I had already tried both of them. She put me on hold for 22 minutes and then I hung up. I decided to restore my iPad from a backup. But that was impossible because it wanted one of the plethora of passwords Apple requires. (There is a password for the iPad, for iCloud, for iTunes, for the Apple iD and somehow these had been changed in the ‘upgrade’ process.
I call Apple again to get help with a password reset.
“It’s not the password for your iPad, your iTunes, your iCloud,” the clerk ‘explained’, “you need..”
“I need the uSuck password,” I thought.
And then the phone line went dead.
“Maybe I thought out loud,” I said to myself. I decided to reset the password on-line. Amazingly, I seemed to be making good progress. The system asked whether I wanted to reset by answering the personal questions or if I’d be happy to get an Email.
“Personal questions,” I thought. “I don’t remember the password for the eMail account that Apple insists that I use as my Apple id.”
The first personal question was simple: “Enter your birthdate.”
I did.
“That is wrong!” Apple informed me. I sighed and found the password for the defunct email account. I asked Apple to email a new password.“Unable because of an error.” Apple informed me. (Pointlessly.)
I decided that it would be easier, less annoying and cheaper to just buy..
“No Dan!” Nazy exclaimed. “That’s what Apple wants you to do. The upgrades are designed to make you buy a new iPad.”
“I wasn’t going to buy an iPad, I was going to buy a flashlight,” I replied. “So I can see the screen.”
This week, Nazy and I spent a lot of time with young Arrow. He is, of course, along with his brother Tiger, the grand(est)son. He’s walking, he’s babbling and he’s happy. Nazy and I took him to the zoo. (He likes the giraffes, the meerkats and the penguins best.) He was unimpressed with the lions (asleep), the mule fox (asleep), the gorilla (asleep) or the eagle (immobile).
We started out with him in the stroller (see above). Everything was smooth until we got to the meerkats and, because he couldn’t see, I picked him up. He wouldn’t get back in the stroller. And, as Nazy mentioned (more than once):
“I told you what would happen, Dan.”
“Yes, dear — but it could be worse. I replied. “It I were Tiger, he’d insist that he push the stroller.”
In addition to the trip to the zoo, Arrow also enjoyed his weekly visit to music class. He loves rhythm and, just like Tiger before him, he likes to walk around during class — clapping his hands and swaying to the music.
And, because he is growing up, Arrow will be able to join Tiger at school, on Fridays, from 9:00 to 10:30, with a parent or grandparent. We’re not sure if Arrow is excited by the prospect, but Tiger is certainly thrilled.
While I was jousting with Arrow and Apple, Darius was in Bellingham, Washington getting settled. He now has a car, a shower curtain, an Iron (and Ironing board), a knife, a fork, a spoon and lots of paper towels. Furniture is en route and..
“.. so is his family,” Nazy noted.
“Maybe he should get another spoon, fork and knife,” I thought.
On Friday, Darius is flying to Beirut where he’ll spend a whirlwind 36 hours before returning to Bellingham, with Christiane and Leandra, on Monday. It will be challenging. In fact, I thought about a similarly lengthy trip…
“As you know, we cannot leave Hawaii without adequate drinking water. Unfortunately, the part we need is not available. I have sent our co-pilot to nearest grocery store. He has returned with a case of bottle water. We are now ready to depart.”
And, so, two hours late, our flight took off. Almost as soon as we left, Mitra, playing with crayons, got a bad set of ‘sticky hands’ just before the meal arrived. Because I was on the aisle, I took her to the WC to wash up. The airplane hit a patch of rough air just as we entered the bathroom. Mitra’s pacifier (‘binky’ in UK English) popped out of her mouth and fell directly into the toilet. We were both speechless for several seconds.
“We have to get a new one!” Mitra wailed.
“We can’t get a new one,” I thought — realizing with a sinking feeling that Mitra had never gone to sleep without her pacifier. It quickly got worse as I considered the reaction that this development would engender when I returned to my seat and explained the foible to Nazy. A long time later…
“Well,” Nazy sighed, “perhaps we can find a pacifier at the airport in Dallas before we make our connection.”
“Of course, my dear,” I replied. “Fat chance,” I thought. Accurately.
And, while we were in the Dallas Airport, a rushing businessman ran over Mitra, knocking her down. She landed with a ‘clunk’ on her head. We called Nazy’s brother, a physician. He advised us to keep Mitra awake for the remainder of the journey.
“At least that won’t be hard,” I thought while Nazy completed a fruitless search of the airport.
“My iPhone is dim, Dan. What did you do?”
I had, in fact, also noticed that my iPhone and my iPad had similar problems. The iPhones could be ‘fixed’ by adjusting the brightness slider. Unfortunately, the new, ‘improved’ Apple Operating System, restored the slider to the dim position overtime the phone woke up. The iPad, on the other hand, left the brightness slider in the full bright position… except that ‘full bright’ was ‘mostly dark’.
When Nazy became convinced that I couldn’t fix the problem (it didn’t take long), we trekked to the Apple Store with her phone. They also couldn’t fix the problem.
“Just call Apple support,” they said.
I tried that option as well.. with the focus on my iPad. Unfortunately, Allyson was as clueless as me. Actually, Allyson was more clueless than me. And, ALL of her suggestions (i.e. both of them) were useless. Hint: there are two ways to adjust the brightness slider; I had already tried both of them. She put me on hold for 22 minutes and then I hung up. I decided to restore my iPad from a backup. But that was impossible because it wanted one of the plethora of passwords Apple requires. (There is a password for the iPad, for iCloud, for iTunes, for the Apple iD and somehow these had been changed in the ‘upgrade’ process.
I call Apple again to get help with a password reset.
“It’s not the password for your iPad, your iTunes, your iCloud,” the clerk ‘explained’, “you need..”
“I need the uSuck password,” I thought.
And then the phone line went dead.
“Maybe I thought out loud,” I said to myself. I decided to reset the password on-line. Amazingly, I seemed to be making good progress. The system asked whether I wanted to reset by answering the personal questions or if I’d be happy to get an Email.
“Personal questions,” I thought. “I don’t remember the password for the eMail account that Apple insists that I use as my Apple id.”
The first personal question was simple: “Enter your birthdate.”
I did.
“That is wrong!” Apple informed me. I sighed and found the password for the defunct email account. I asked Apple to email a new password.“Unable because of an error.” Apple informed me. (Pointlessly.)
I decided that it would be easier, less annoying and cheaper to just buy..
“No Dan!” Nazy exclaimed. “That’s what Apple wants you to do. The upgrades are designed to make you buy a new iPad.”
“I wasn’t going to buy an iPad, I was going to buy a flashlight,” I replied. “So I can see the screen.”
This week, Nazy and I spent a lot of time with young Arrow. He is, of course, along with his brother Tiger, the grand(est)son. He’s walking, he’s babbling and he’s happy. Nazy and I took him to the zoo. (He likes the giraffes, the meerkats and the penguins best.) He was unimpressed with the lions (asleep), the mule fox (asleep), the gorilla (asleep) or the eagle (immobile).
We started out with him in the stroller (see above). Everything was smooth until we got to the meerkats and, because he couldn’t see, I picked him up. He wouldn’t get back in the stroller. And, as Nazy mentioned (more than once):
“I told you what would happen, Dan.”
“Yes, dear — but it could be worse. I replied. “It I were Tiger, he’d insist that he push the stroller.”
In addition to the trip to the zoo, Arrow also enjoyed his weekly visit to music class. He loves rhythm and, just like Tiger before him, he likes to walk around during class — clapping his hands and swaying to the music.
And, because he is growing up, Arrow will be able to join Tiger at school, on Fridays, from 9:00 to 10:30, with a parent or grandparent. We’re not sure if Arrow is excited by the prospect, but Tiger is certainly thrilled.
While I was jousting with Arrow and Apple, Darius was in Bellingham, Washington getting settled. He now has a car, a shower curtain, an Iron (and Ironing board), a knife, a fork, a spoon and lots of paper towels. Furniture is en route and..
“.. so is his family,” Nazy noted.
“Maybe he should get another spoon, fork and knife,” I thought.
On Friday, Darius is flying to Beirut where he’ll spend a whirlwind 36 hours before returning to Bellingham, with Christiane and Leandra, on Monday. It will be challenging. In fact, I thought about a similarly lengthy trip…
Flashback
Hilo, Hawaii
Nazy and I, with sub-two year old Mitra, were on a Braniff DC-8 waiting to depart on our flight to Dallas. The plane was, of course, delayed. The cause was, believe it or not, a failure in the drinking water dispenser. The airline could not find parts in Hilo and the FAA rules prohibited a departure with a defective drinking water dispenser. And, so we waited. Finally, the pilot made an announcement:
“As you know, we cannot leave Hawaii without adequate drinking water. Unfortunately, the part we need is not available. I have sent our co-pilot to nearest grocery store. He has returned with a case of bottle water. We are now ready to depart.”
And, so, two hours late, our flight took off. Almost as soon as we left, Mitra, playing with crayons, got a bad set of ‘sticky hands’ just before the meal arrived. Because I was on the aisle, I took her to the WC to wash up. The airplane hit a patch of rough air just as we entered the bathroom. Mitra’s pacifier (‘binky’ in UK English) popped out of her mouth and fell directly into the toilet. We were both speechless for several seconds.
“We have to get a new one!” Mitra wailed.
“We can’t get a new one,” I thought — realizing with a sinking feeling that Mitra had never gone to sleep without her pacifier. It quickly got worse as I considered the reaction that this development would engender when I returned to my seat and explained the foible to Nazy. A long time later…
“Well,” Nazy sighed, “perhaps we can find a pacifier at the airport in Dallas before we make our connection.”
“Of course, my dear,” I replied. “Fat chance,” I thought. Accurately.
And, while we were in the Dallas Airport, a rushing businessman ran over Mitra, knocking her down. She landed with a ‘clunk’ on her head. We called Nazy’s brother, a physician. He advised us to keep Mitra awake for the remainder of the journey.
“At least that won’t be hard,” I thought while Nazy completed a fruitless search of the airport.
End Flashback
I’m taking a break from political commentary. So — I won’t make a comment about the moron in the Whilte House. I agree with the analysis of his cabinet members and senior GOP senators.
And, finally, a note about taxes. Ours are due on the 15th — after an automatic extension. The picture, while not pretty, is easily resolved. In fact, when I described the situation to Nazy (who had wondered about my headache) she replied, simply:
“You just need to figure a way to make more money and pay less taxes.”
“I think I’ll join the current administration.” I replied.
For last week's letter, please click here
Arrow at Music School
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